How ZEALOUS a JW were you?

by BonaFide 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • BonaFide
    BonaFide

    Or maybe you are still a zealous JW.

    I became a regular pioneer while I was still in High School. I used to set my alarm for 5 am three times a week and walk a few blocks to do streetwork. Hardly anyone on the street, but I felt good about it. I was interviewed on the District Convention about that. A brother Jerry Opris, C.O., from North Carolina interviewed me.

    Then I went and served in the Midwest for a couple of years.

    Then when I was accepted to MTS and became a missionary, I really tried my best to be zealous. The hourly requirement for a missionary is 140 hours. Missionaries over 60 can put in 130 hours. I think that has changed recently, both lowered by 10. For the first few months I did the 140. I don';t think I missed it even once. After that I wanted to get into the circuit work. My C.O. told me to show the Branch how serious I was. So I started putting in 150 hours a month. Sometimes more.

    So finally I was in the Circuit work. The hour requirement for Circuit Overseers was not 90 hours a month. Regular pioneers had to put that time in, but we were told it was OK to put in less if we were shepherding or doing congregation stuff. Now the hours are 70, but I don't know what the hour requirement for C.O.'s is. But even still I put in over a 100 hours each month in service as a C.O. I was in the circuit work for over 7 years.

    I would even go in service sometimes on Tuesday mornings. The C.O. starts his visit on Tuesday night, and goes in service on Wednesday, but I wanted to really show I was zealous, so I would go out with the local congregation. And then I would also go in early morning streetwork sometimes. And evening witnessing.

    I also wanted to be zealous in studying. I read the Societies publications, I thought that was studying. I read the Bible 5 times total, yes the NWT. I tried to get through the Insight Books, but I didn't make it. I made a "research notebook" where I wrote study projects. I did the Creative Days, the Herods, the Caesars, District Convention Themes, Parallels between Moses and Christ, Governing Body members, Prophecies yet to be fulfilled, Fruitage of the Spirit. I still have that book.

    I did have time to relax, but I was sure Armageddon was coming before the year 2000, so I wanted to be as zealous as possible. My conscience would really bother me if I didn't work hard during the week.

    What a waste of time. I did think I was serving God, and I did make a lot of friends in my assignment, some I am still in touch with. But I put in thousands of hours of field service, and for what?

    So, what about you?

    How ZEALOUS were you?

    BF

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    BF: "But I put in thousands of hours of field service, and for what?"

    Are you sure you didn't do it for a little bit of vanity (self important) purposes, ladder climbing and status, and you got an ego boost from a little bit of power and recognition?

    Surely these ventures of yours must have filled some personal need in some way or you would not have continued.

    And if you say "it was all for god", then why would you think some eternal all powerful being would actually need you? Isn't that a bit presumptious and arrogant?

    And even by posting this, aren't you still bragging just a bit about how dedicated and good you were?

    Do you still have the sin of pride, only unfulfilled now?

    No offense intended, BF. Sometimes introspection can give us the answers and reasons for why we do things.

  • asilentone
    asilentone

    I was very zealous JW many years ago. BIG MISTAKE!

  • BonaFide
    BonaFide

    Cameo-D, yes, maybe you are right. I just write what I am thinking, so I have no idea sometimes what attitude I am conveying. That's why I like this forum.

    I guess I want to think I accomplished SOMETHING down there.

    BF

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    If by zealous, you mean lots of hours, I wasn't zealous. If you mean zealous by sincerity and concern for fellow humans, then I was very zealous.

  • Scott77
    Scott77

    Ok, Mr. BonaFide, you acompolished your goals, assigne tasks with zeal and self determination. That experiences should be very useful now as you restart to rebuild your life again after the borg. Success in one area should spell success in another. That has guided me to this day.

    Scott77

  • alanv
    alanv

    I too was very zealous. I was convinced the end would come before 1975, because that was what we were told. I was an apprentice printer at the time, so when the call went out for more pioneers that was what I did. My best friend and I gave up our jobs and began car washing at weekends for some pocket money. In time I was made a ministerial servant and carried out many jobs. I even recommended we send money to the society every month as they were was not doing it at the time. It was a very full life.

    Then like many I began to realize I was living a lie. My friend and I are both out now plus many of our friends who were also pioneers.

    It took a long time to make the break, and I now spend some of my time helping others to see the WT is a mind controlling cult.

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    Bonafide = Know how you feel....I thought Armagedon would come at least by 2000-2003 Max....so I Pioneered/Servant for 10 years 1990-2000...put in extra, wore my blood card around my kneck when exercising just in case.....Yes I was a dumb ass,....now I watch movies alot, play with my dogs, better use of my quality time! Have no kids since the "Paradise" was meant to cover that!....37 Years old...tick tock...tick tock...tick tock!

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    I wasn't zealous.

    I was under threat of extermination by my parent's killer God.

    How could I 'love' a God who was going to kill me if I didn't do all the stuff he said I should and not do all the stuff he said I shouldn't?

    What the fluff was there to be zealous about?

    I could never understand.

    It was all just OBEY or DIE.

    Paradise wasn't an option for me. There was too much chit I had to do, or not do, to ever get there. I was bird food. I was going down the hole with the girl, the dog, and the bicycle.

    Cheers

    Chris

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    On a scale 1-10 I was 8 or 9 most of my Jw life. I wasn't 'rewarded' as well as BF in terms of recognition, status, etc. though.

    I faced depression over things that were bothering me inside [though at the time I didn't know that fully], and I fell from 8 or 9 all the way to zero on some occasions [I actually went inactive at one point for a couple of years over this]. The lack of honest and sincere love affected me more than anything else - it always looked superficial to me. And viola - it was.

    Still it took me until age 48 to smell the dead rat that lay right under my 'theocratic' nose, and got out.

    Jeff

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