Your opinion please (page 3)

yknot

No.

She filed for the divorce on unscriptural grounds.

Should she entertain marrying again it should only be to you.

Frankly if there are no minor children involved then there is no reason to have any contact with her or her KH.

Do not write that letter. My jw husband choked, hit and kicked me on a regular basis and threatened to kill me. I filed for divorce after he was forcibly committed to a mental hospital for the second time. After the elders failed to bully me into staying in an abusive marriage, they insisted that I would have to prove that he committed adultery in order for me to be free to remarry. I refused to stalk him and wait around to see if he would choose to commit adultery or murder. I also told the elders that I didn't want to be in an organization that insisted I do so and offered to da. They df'd me instead. I moved into a basement bedroom of a rooming house where the female owner and I shared a bathroom. The upstairs was rented to four men, who I only saw if/when we were using the kitchen at the same time. Later I moved with two of the men, neither of whom I was sleeping with at the time, into an apartment. I felt safer living with male room mates, considering there was a lunatic out there threatening to kill me. Well, apparently, me living in the same house with men was enough for him to be scripturally free to remarry, because he was dating within a few months after I left our home.

From what I've heard, he married his second victim and is still a jw in good standing to this day, 21 years later. Your exwife and my exhusband have one thing in common; they both have shown their willingness to submit to the WB&TS. It won't take that long for the elders to trump up some kind of adultery charges against you, just as they apparently did with me. Don't give her or the elders the satisfaction of putting it on paper. They'll make up something nasty about you soon enough.

Wasanelder Once

Tell her, if she will agree to a home bible study with you about the Society that you will give her what she wants... BUT, it must last at least six months... W.Once

Lucky Calamity

NO. Admitting to adultery when you didn't do it anyway, AND would be treated by the LAW outside the congregation as the defaulting party? NO WAY.

isaacaustin

SSPO...You are not subject to their rules or under their control. I would not write the letter.

Scully

She listened to the Elders™ slander of you which resulted in her divorcing you on the grounds of Spiritual Endangerment™. She knows the rules of the organization she belongs to - she divorced you on Unscriptural™ grounds, so if SHE remarries, she is committing adultery, not you. She freed you from the marriage, but she didn't free herself from the JW obligations involved in an Unscriptural™ divorce.

I would file a restraining order against her and the Elders™, to keep them from spying on you or from contacting you. You owe them nothing.

FWIW, I believe that it will not be long before the WTS turns a blind eye to situations like yours, in order to facilitate re-marriage of the Faithful™ JW party to another Faithful™ JW party. It has already happened several times according to reports on this forum. It all depends on whether the divorcée has lined up an Elder™ or Ministerial Servant™ as her next husband. To be honest, your wife shouldn't even be dating - if she is, it shows what her intentions are.

DJK

Don't write the letter. What goes on in your personal life is your business. When I was a teen I was never kiss and tell.

If you remarry, then she will have what she needs for a scriptural divorce without a letter.

Side note; if your paying alimony, give her the letter, the sooner she remarries, the sooner the alimony stops.

wantstoleave

Jamie, how come the elders Df you? From what you wrote, they didn't have grounds...so why did they Df you? I ask because I am divorcing my ex, neither of us are scripturally free. We both still attend meetings (he in another country, me inactively). I have not told the elders my plans. Should I expect them knocking on my door? Thanks for your help in advance...

Your opinion please