I have found I have made good friends since I left the Bruvs,I have made friends in music,fellow guitarists and fans. They are good people and would do anything for you. I haven't been in contact with any of my friends from the cong except in dreams which is a bit wierd.
Has being a JW effected your ability to make or keep friends?
by PEC 22 Replies latest jw friends
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JimmyPage
Facebook has gotten me back in touch with many JWs I grew up with- none of whom are dubs anymore. Not to mention old high school friends and even some relatives.
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lurk3r
Sadly, in my case, that has been true thus far...
Me too, I am finding it hard to make friends....
What do you guys find hard, or hardest about it? Thanks for being so open about it too...I almost feel a little relieved. For myself, I found that I had quite a hard time with surface talk in my earlier stages of leaving. Just hard to relax, sit back and be myself. I tried to deflect away from myself by asking a lot of questions. People get a little uncomfortable when you ask lots of questions...lol...especially when you dont have a whole lot to say about yourself.
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HintOfLime
Being a JW hasn't effected my ability to make friends at all.
I have made friends with at least 6 of the mysterious voices in my head, and have estabilished a very honest and trusting relationship with at least two of them. Oh my, yes. Two are best friends forever. One of them gave me her telephone number a couple nights ago. Eh-heh-heh-heh! (We need a Meg Griffin Emoticon)
- Lime
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iknowall558
It's not hard for me to make friends, but I do need to remind myself that I don't need to put the barrier up and keep people at a certain distance. I've been out of org. for 10months now, and am only now really enjoying my 'worldly' friends. I've been relishing the fact that I can get to know my neighbours properly. I see them in my local and we all chat and have a laugh. We all look forward to meeting up, and I'll be seeing them tonight again. My ex-JW friends sister in law, who has never been a witness, has become one of my closest friends when she saw how everyone abandoned me when I DA'd. I'm really enjoying letting myself go and not being judged by anyone. They take me for who I am and I do the same. I see people differently and actually realize they are nice, decent, normal, caring people. It's great.
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WTWizard
I believe that, even if we do not abide by the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger any more, rote habit might cause us to stumble and blow something. Plus, it is more difficult to totally learn new habits when you have the old ones, even subconsciously, confusing you.
Even those who wrote the Gospels of Jesus were not totally immune to Paul's being confused. And Paul was an ex-pharisee, doing what he thought was necessary to be saved. Paul still had some Pharisee traits in him--all the new rules of being a Christian are from that source. And that contaminated Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John (who wrote up the Gospels).
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Barbie Doll
Me too, I am finding it hard to make friends...
You are not alone, when it comes to making Friends.
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Scarred for life
I agree. You are not alone.
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strawberry cake
My youngest son aged 13 has no close friends,outside of school, post JW.. All the oportunities for him to develop close friends at primary school were lost, as I told him that they could only be friends at school, play with them near our house, but they couldn't come in and of course, he couldn't go to their parties, houses etc. He was absolutely forbidden to make them his 'best friends.'
Recently I have noticed that my son tends to wait for other kids to approach him and he gets upset if they don't. He doesn't know how to get a conversation started. (he is also a little shy)He also doesn't see his school friends outside of school and doesn't know how to instigate this.
I actually signed him up on msm messenger. Unfortunately, he says he runs out of conversation after about a minute of writing'what are you doing?'
We bought him an ipod to help him to be more 'cool'..He not that interested really. but tries to act like he's enjoying kanye West.
I wonder sometimes what might be going through his head. It's been about 2 years since we left and after years of indoctrination, I wonder if psychologically his ability to make close bonds with 'worldy' children has been hindered.
For myself, personally, I haven't had too much trouble making friends. I feel like I have just reverted to my lifestyle before I became a JW. I joined when I was 28. I think this helps because up till then I had a normal life and a normal upbringing unlike my son.
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Gordy
Interesting subject.
Something I have thought about myself over the years. I left the JWs in 2001, after 30 years, when I DA'd, in that time I have noticed that I do have trouble relating to people. I'm not a recluse or anything Ilike going out for a drink etc, I attend a church full of friendly people. If I go out for a drink in the local pub, I rarely strike up a conversation or if others speak to me I feel ill at ease. Almost as if there is some barrier between them and me. Because of this I basically have no friends, male or female, in the sense that I can say "Do you want to meet-up and go out." Because of this I have often thought is it because of my 30 years as a JW from the age of 20 to 50. In that time the ONLY people I and my family associated with were JWs. Those years centred around being a JW. Which I suppose eventually led to my breakdown etc. Which also hasn't helped in meeting people. Fortunately, if it wasn't for those children of mine that followed me out of the JWs and the ones who did not become JWs, three who live with me. I would probably would be a bit of a recluse.
Yes it is one of those things, especially those of us who had been JWs for most of our lives. You do think how much of an impact did it have on us. It is not the being able to do things that as JW we couldn't do. But its the unseen things that we carry around in our heads that have the bigger effect.