I bumped into this reaction (nearly called it a problem) when I was a JW. Being that single ‘sisters’ were out of bounds to chat to (unless you were thinking of marrying them), I thought that it was a safe(er) option to chat to married ‘sisters’. I reasoned that they would have been happy in their marriage so chatting to them wouldn’t be such a problem. Or so I thought…..
The problem is (and this is not said as any kind of brag) that I show a lot of understanding in my conversation. This provoked an emotional reaction and went onto cause problems in the friendship and would usually end them. I was totally perplexed until a close (female) friend of mine took me to one side and said accusingly “it’s your fault, you’re just too understanding…!!”.
I was only young and just enjoyed female company, and didn’t understand what I was doing. I do understand it a little more now but the reaction still perplexes me somewhat. I can’t talk for all men, but from a mans perspective, if I am understood, I just get the feeling of relief that someone knows what I am going through. A deep sigh and that is that. But despite asking numerous women I am friends with, I still don’t know the mechanics of why understanding causes such a huge emotional reaction.
So is there a way of explaining it……???