Embarrassing Moments on the Platform

HintOfLime

I was thinking the other day about a potential answer to the frequent party question 'What was your most embarrassing moment?'. Immediately my mind went to my last experience on the theocratic school. As an aspiring MS, I volunteered at the last minute to give a #4 talk on a particular individual (ignorant of what I was about to get myself into). I forget the exact biblical character, but after volunteering (30 minutes to go...) I stepped into the KH library and began my research. The insight book immediately illustrated the quandary I had stepped into. It had a whopping 2 sentences about that particular character. And they were NOT noteworthy or interesting in the least (Along the lines of "So-and-so was the half-brother of so-and-so.. a priest). I read the 2 associated scriptures that mentioned the person by name, came up with no practical experience or illustration to use the account with, and started to realized.. I am completely screwed. An elder visited me 5 minutes before my talk to ask how it was going, and I complained that there was NOTHING to say about this individual, and was comforted with "You'll find something."

Well, I didn't. I was on the platform for about 45 seconds... I couldn't figure out how to correctly pronounce this particularly character's name consistently, and I had nothing to say about him. It was the most humiliating and ultimately pointless thing I can recall ever being asked of me. The School Overseer publically criticized my delivery as "insufficient"... even on an impromptu talk (freaking jack-ass).. but didn't offer any additional insights into the character, and the school ended early. It was the last time I stepped onto the platform for a talk. After that, I only did the announcements and the occasional formulaic prayer ("Please forgive us where we fall short, because we are imperfect, and do make mistakes.", and all the 'important' things you heard quoted verbatim over and over.)

How about you, anybody else have any traumatic experiences on the platform to spill?

- Lime

PS: I have had the chance to speak publically since then.. and fortunately that negative experience hasn't prevented me sharing important and useful information I have an interest in. I think when it comes to most people, when you are interested and enthusiastic about a particular subject, it's not so big a deal to share what you know with most crowds, from just a couple friends to a large gathering. It's just hard to bullshit about worthless crap in front of 1 or 1,000,000 people for most of us.

beksbks

They called all the recently baptized up at the first Thursday night meeting after the assembly. I was one of them. Twelve years old, and as shy as I am now outgoing. They started going down the line, the question was "what made you decide to dedicate your life to Jehovah". I wished the stage would open up and swallow me. I finally formulated some pathetic answer in my mind. The girl in front of me said exactly that. I started to giggle, giggled until they passed over me, and never came back. It was horrendous. The only redeeming moment, is when one sister came up and said how moved she was when I began to cry, it made her cry too. Heh.

cabasilas

This incident made the audience at the Hall roar...

A newly married brother was handling a Service Meeting part. He sometimes didn't wear his contact lenses, but when he didn't he refused to wear his glasses.

So, he's asking for commentary from the audience and calls on one sister, saying:

"Sister in the back...."

We heard the sister start and then the laughter begin.

The "sister in the back" was his new wife!

HintOfLime

The "sister in the back" was his new wife!

Wow.. that is bad. Well, no reason putting off your first night sleeping on the sofa, I guess.

- Lime

caliber

How about the watchtower conductor who was calling on comments in a congregation where there a a number of families

by this same last name so he says.. Sister Payne.... yes sister "Payne (Pain ) in the rear !!!! " ...

iknowall558

A sister was up giving a talk about why you shouldn't use certain phrases as they are really just substitutes for swearing. She went through a list of examples of taking God/Jesus name in vain --- like 'Golly', ' Jeezo' etc. She concluded, stood up to leave and tripped off the platform while shouting out "Gee Whizz". (one of the other examples she used). Hilarious.

dinah

Had that happened to me, I prolly would have said a real naughty word and been hauled to the library.

leftbelow

Man I have a few. One happen when I was really young and didn't understand why it was funny at the time.

We had intermissions on Sunday back then and the chairman invited the congraegation to enjoy the 5 minute intercourse.

That same brother once conducted most of the Watchtower with his shirt hanging out of his fly.

and lastly the newly appointed PO of my hall said during a service meeting part the following "they were screwed" the CO was there and he knew he was in trouble. He was young and we knew him well but we couldn't help but laugh the CO didn't think it was funny!!!!

rockmehardplace

we always had the typical stuff. calling people by wrong names, forgetting names, occasional zipper down, saying the wrong word {one brother said it was important to meditate deeply on the scriptures as you constipate - he meant concentrate}. the only one that really stands out for me in all the time was a brother was giving a TMS part and it was his first time trying it from an outline. he was encouraged for months to use an outline. he started his talk and about 30 seconds in, he got confused as to what to say. instead of regrouping, he just picked up his bible and walked right to his seat, grabbed his bag and left. he did not come back for six months. to this day, and this has been years ago, he is not on the TMS.

chickpea

ugh! there was the bro
giving the public talk
using the earpiece of
his glasses to clean the
WAX out of his ear....

i HOPE he was embarrassed
when it was pointed out to him!

Embarrassing Moments on the Platform

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