by RaraAvis 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
And it is so sad, and so hard. This is the one thing about losing my religion that has been the hardest for me. It was so wonderful believing a person goes to sleep, a hope of waking up to a wonderful new world. Now I have no idea what I believe. What happens when someone dies. He said he is ready to go and be with his wife, who he lost to cancer. Will that happen? I wonder how you all have dealt with the question of death and the afterlife or the lack thereof.
ra
Strength to those you care about. Everyone deals with questions of mortality and the end of life in their own way, even JW's that delude themselves find little comfort in their hope often. All of the books on philosophy and evolution and spirituality don't take the place of being there for those who are dying or losing someone they love in death. There is never a canned speech that will help, but just being there is better than not having the right words.
Some people offer some comfort in the right ways. Typically, they know the people they are comforting and know what they hope to hear. Rather than hoping to be that type of person, silent support and hugs go a long way. Genuine tears are way better than false hopes.
I believe that this life is all that there is, so I hope to let go of grudges and I show up at family funerals.
So sorry for you and your family. The way I look at it is I hope there's an afterlife, but if there isn't, we'll never know.
Just being there for them means the most !
The one who is dying needs you to reach out.
Those who know they're dying may hesitate to voice their deeper thoughts and feelings. They're often afraid of upsetting people around them. They're not sure how much others are ready for. It's not unusual for caregivers to behave similarly, tiptoeing carefully through conversations, steering clear of any topics that might seem disturbing. This can also be a way of protecting oneself. Whatever the reason, the result is the same: the dying person can come to feel isolated and lonely. So can you. But that doesn't have to be the case. You can reach out and connect.
Connect by talking. Speak to the one you care for as an equal, person to person, face to face. Say what you think. Express what you feel. If the dying person is slow to open up, don't push them. Just let them know you're ready to move to a deeper level whenever they are. If tears come, let them to be. They're a sign that you care, an indication you wish this wasn't happening. Would you want the one you're with to think otherwise?
Connect by listening. The one who's dying may have much to say--feelings to explore, questions to ask, ideas to leave behind, experiences to sum up. Your patient, attentive ear is one of the greatest gifts you can offer
Connect by encouraging memories. Often a dying person wants to make sense of the time they've had on earth. They want to feel their life has mattered and their influence will not be forgotten. You can play a critical role by treating their memories as important and their reflections on life as valuable
Connect by touching. People who are dying want to know you're with them in as many ways as possible. No way is more direct than physical touch. If it's a comfort to them, hold their hand or touch their arm or shoulder or head. Stroke them, massage them, hug them. Your nonverbal communication can say as much as your verbal, or even more. Don't forget that touch and hearing are the two senses a person retains longest. http://angel-on-my-shoulder.com/ideas.html
Remember this ....
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid
and deeds left undone.
-Harriet Beecher Stowe, Author
I guess what I am wondering is what does everyone think happens at death and was it hard to change your views after leaving the org.
ra
My mom died in 1970 (she was 43 then) due to cancer. Of course, I was told she would come back in the resurrection soon. That, eventually became irritatingly empty to me. I now choose to believe she has already gone on to a better life long ago, not waiting in the ground of emptiness all this time (even though she believed in the JW earthly hope) .
I am sorry to hear your family is dealing with this. I hope you find comfort in each other.
I personally don't believe in life after death. I believe that we simply die and that is it. No ongoing anything. I used to think that was sad, but now I just think it is realistic. I hope you can reconcile your former thoughts borne from the JW teachings with your new view on life. *hugs*
The world, though fallen, is not all sorrow and misery. In nature itself are messages of hope and comfort. There are flowers upon the thistles, and the thorns are covered with roses.
"God is love" is written upon every opening bud, upon every spire of springing grass. The lovely birds making the air vocal with their happy songs, the delicately tinted flowers in their perfection perfuming the air, the lofty trees of the forest with their rich foliage of living green -- all testify to the tender, fatherly care of our God and to His desire to make His children happy.
.This video speaks of comfort and hope !
