I feel... lost...

Strider Arekksu

(Sorry for mispellings, I am emotionally frustrated right now) *Sigh* I recently have slowly been, not interested in the 'orginazational' routine of the JWs. I have done personal research on the world, some secrets the government hide from the naive and all that good stuff. I'm pretty confident something bad is going to happen like the JW doctrine states. It's just, I have some inner conflcits. I think the problem is that the WT is TOO organzied. Theoritically, since times have changed, Jehovah's way of revealing truth to people around the world does need to change, but at the same time... I'm not liking the side effects.

I took it upon myself to do some careful study of Satan, reading books, wathcing documentaries etc. found out about possible hidden organizations around the world where 'normal' people worship him. I say normal because they are your average doctor, bussiness man, etc. you just would never know I guess. So I was left with them impression that he organizes for his goals as well, and apparantly reveals to his 'worshippers' how everything is going down and how he plans to decieve the world and what not. I'm assuming that once a person signs up to worship him they know there is know way in hell they'll get back out alive, so he doesn't care if he explains all of his plans to them. From some stuff I read, it seems he knows the truth about everything, but he twists everything so humans can bring dishonor to God or something. In the end his ultimate goal was for a one world government where everyone is forced to indirectly worship him. This was all pretty interesting, makes me aware of somethings and careful about my beliefs.

While I was researching this though, I kind of felt like there was no where to really go. The organization (IN WESTERN SOCIETY) is pretty stressing. I think a lot of people just view this routine the orgnization plants out to them as how to show love for Jehovah. I don't know about that anymore. Ever since I was young, I've had a strong since of justice and empathy for people. I would beat up the bully, I would eat with the social out casts. I did what I thought was right, not for praise, but because I wanted to live the right life, I thought that would be giving my life to Jehovah. I never pressed my beiliefs on anyone, but I would allow for people to understand my beiliefs when welcomed to do so.

I feel that serving God, is seen from your heart and character, not just if you follow certain routines. A lot of the people in the U.S. that are in the JW are pretty...simple... I guess? They FORCE this black and white mindset on everything, when its not that simple. Jesus was my role model, to be so wise and to speak great parables and illustrations. I have been able to come up with many illustrations when helping people and they have said how great they have been and I love that they help people to see and understand. But I felt alot of people want to serve Jehovah because they get to see dead loved ones are because they get to get into a so called paradise. I have NEVER had this feeling, I don't really care about a paradise, I cared about worshipping Jehovah because as the creator he deserves it and I felt like a freak because I think this way. People asked me why I never wanted to talk about seeing my dead loved ones. It's very hard to be around people when you don't feel the same as they do, and it makes it hard to go out in service, hard to do anything involved with anything. I feel like I'm slowly losing my indviduality like I'm just a pawn, but no wehre in the Bible did people have this problem, you could see all of ther personalities and character, I'm not understanding the deal. All these people are good looking, arrogant, stuck up, hypocrits, do they want eternal life to top it off? It just reminds me of those stereotypical evil-nutty overlords.

Anyway, I guess I want to blame the WTS, but at the same time I can't because I've been to a cong. in Japan and it is AMAZINGLY different. My research on Satan gave me the impression that he and his demons mostly focus thei resouces and energy in western society. So obvously if there is true religion if I was an manpilative mastermind I would make sure it was hard as hell to stay in, so that's why I hesitate to jump out, but I figure some places the JW life was not a stressful as it is in such a demonic concentrated area I guess? I was planning on moving to Japan in the near future. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do anymore...

rebel8

Maybe re-read the Bible and try to find where it says God has an organization today, and one must be a part of it in order to be saved. Once you look at it with fresh eyes and not trying to read into it what the wts tells you, you'll see it differently.

Strider Arekksu

While I thought about that, at this point with human populaiton, it would be insanely illogical (IMO) and inconsistent not to have ANY hint of orginization at all... And then the fact that even Satan uses one makes me feel worse about it.

bluecanary

I think Japan may be the answer for you.

leavingwt

May I ask a question or two?

Did your "careful study" include reading Steve Hassan's book? Ray Franz's books?

-LWT

Heaven

a lot of people just view this routine the orgnization plants out to them as how to show love for Jehovah.

Show me in the Bible where it says going door-to-door handing out Watchtower and Awake! magazines is considered service to God. This is a man-made organization's definition and agenda. And it was created by the second president of the WTS, Joseph Rutherford. I find it impossible to believe that those who lived before the inception of the WTS will not be considered for resurrection as they did not serve God in the eyes of the WTS. What happens when you are no longer capable of going door-to-door? As in, you now have memory problems or Alzheimer's Disease, as examples, and can no longer function as a 'witness'?

I believe that service and works are as individual as we are. Not one of us has the exact same situation in life. Not one of us thinks exactly the same way. God created variety. I believe the way we serve him is as varied and as limitless as our imaginations.

Ask yourself, if every single person on the face of this earth did what the WTS told them to do and 'pioneered', who would be healing the sick, taking care of the elderly, feeding us, educating us, creating tools, vehicles, etc and repairing these, who would be fabricating the products we need to have homes, and roads, and paper to print magazines and books with?

At James 3:1, it says not everyone is to become a teacher/master. I think this holds true for preaching and evangelizing as well.

Heaven

Strider... on another note.... have you ever prayed to Jesus and asked him for guidance and help? You may be surprised.

PrimateDave

I've been to Japan. It is a much different culture, and the congregations felt to me to be much more closely knit than I was ever used to in the United States. Nevertheless, I do not count that experience, positive though it was, as any kind of proof that Jehovah's Witnesses have the truth.

Have you read the book Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz? If you are or have ever been a Witness, it is a must read, and practically everyone on this forum will agree with me on that point.

I think you are wasting your time studying about Satan. In my personal research I have come to the conclusion that he does not exist. The concept of a powerful evil being is a useful tool for high control religions to keep you hooked on their brand of "truth." I'm not saying that there is no evil or perversion in the world, but it is entirely of human origin.

Will there be major problems in the future? Yes, of this I have no doubt. Humanity has experienced major upheavals in the past, and our future will be no different, especially with problems relating to economic decline, energy and resource depletion, population growth and demographics, environmental degradation, ecological breakdown, biodiversity loss, etc. The problems have been studied by scientists for decades and generally ignored by profit oriented corporate culture and short term political thinking. What humanity faces is not a show down between Jehovah and Satan. It's the entirely predictable decline phase that occurs when a population exceeds the carrying capacity of its environment. (See Dieoff.org) While I am a "doomer," I also believe that humanity will go on, and civilization will continue and change.

Dave

Strider Arekksu

Ah, no where does it say to hand out any of that stuff. And I agree. One of the people I went out in service with even advized me not to use them, and I don't like using them myself.

I've read stuff on effects on cults and what not, and also read some of the Lucifer Effect, I can see some of the effects in the org. But at the same time, even the army pulls some of this stuff to an extent (my frtiend went in to be a better person, came out more annoying and idiotic than ever). I think that it's a problem with humans trying to enforce things in an easier manner. These lazy tactics of creating a mental illusion in people's minds, unfortunately the whole world and government does this to us everyday to prevent revolution and large scale uprisings. I try to do things to distract me from this horror, but technically there no escapping being forced into some kind of mental trap of some form, which is why I've been constantly trying to do personal research, to get my mind out of this false reality.

leavingwt

I've read stuff on effects on cults and what not

The books I've mentioned deal specifically with what you've experienced as a JW. You may enjoy them.

I feel... lost...

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