Dear Dairy,
I really miss you.
It's not that I'm lactose intolerant. I love milk and cheese and yogurt, but I think my longtime overindulgence in your creamy, delectable offerings has made me whey too full of congestion and has added to my already ungainly avoirdupois. An old friend worked at a health spa in Scandinavia a half-century ago and said that goat milk is a complete, healthful food. Is that so, DD? I was formerly of the misguided opinion that dairy meant bovine products only. It seems, however, that the designation refers correctly to all animal milk products. I'm given to understand that seal milk is the richest of all milks, but if I got my hands on any of that I'd turn into a walrus. I called the local health food store and made an inquiry. They referred me to some sister store on the North Pole. Calling all huskies, yours truly excepted!
Another friend told me that cow milk is poison, but I miss it so much. I don't smoke. I don't drink. What's so horrible about a milk-fixation? Ahhhhh ... Cheese. Yogurt. Sour cream. Whip cream.... I'm repeating myself. Is goat milk off-putting to the nose and palate?
Please, Dear Dairy, answer my prayers!
Milky Whey