I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.
This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.
'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4,000 cars. That brings the total number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger?
I don't think so.
why I don't flip off women drivers
by John Doe 21 Replies latest social humour
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John Doe
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cognac
rotflmao!!!
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keyser soze
I don't, because I would get carpal tunnel syndrome if I flipped off every bad woman driver.
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restrangled
Very funny JD, except that after containing yourself on the road, you log on to JWN and take it out on all the girls here!
r.
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lalliv01
I once waved off a female driver with the back of my hand as if to say,"go away,
you crazy nut!" What she did next was so funny I couldn't help but start laughing,and she
saw me laughing--she was so angry at me that she stuck her tongue out at me. I felt badly
for having annoyed her, I wanted to tell her she won that one.
I know she saw me laughing, I hope she got a laugh out of it as well.
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John Doe
Very funny JD, except that after containing yourself on the road, you log on to JWN and take it out on all the girls here!
Who, me????
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JWoods
It really is often a problem with the Ferrari - many women like to drive right up beside you and take pictures with their cell phones. They usually do not keep much lane discipline while doing this.
So far I have been able to dodge them without contact. I remind myself that they usually have something that is at least twice as high and twice as heavy as I do...and that mine is made of mostly aluminum. Your choices are to sit there and smile graciously if blocked in traffic, speed off after a suitable moment if the road is clear, or just slow down enough that they get tired of pacing you if there are cops around.
One must always remember as an F-car owner (particularly with an older 12 cylinder) that almost everybody hates us anyway and thinks we are either midlife maniacs or just neorich anti-environmental jerks. Politeness is our best defense.
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bluecanary
I remind myself that they usually have something that is at least twice as high and twice as heavy as I do.
Ha! At first I thought you meant breasts.
