To go, or not to go ... that is the question.
If you have a need, you must go. I do not believe you are selling out, doing irreparable damage to yourself, or sending a message to the world that you are "hooked" or that you have relapsed.
It is just a public gathering and if it is unhealthy at some point your need will die just as love can die when a person is abused. Please do not put too much significance on a momentary feeling. It will pass.