i respect your path.........i do think our personal faith was a form of self delusion........as hard as i tried to feel it deep inside, i never did.....being raised in it is harder to find i think, you just just ARE what you became.......no real wake up appreciative moment when you KNEW something.......prayer can help, but is is prob selfhelp...just a mental exercise thing..............oompa
you may be suprised how little voice you will have as you express any REAL feelings.....not allowed my friend.......