NEVER piss a woman off

by Xena 16 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Xena

  A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another
  woman.

  With super-human strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the
  stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed in the backyard and
  put his penis in a vice. She then secured it tightly and removed the handle.

  Next she picked up a hacksaw.

  The husband was terrified, and screamed, "Stop! Stop! You're not going
  to cut it off, are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put
  the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Oh no Honey, I'm going to set
  the shed on fire.....You do whatever you have to".
• 

  unclebruce

  OUCH! Remind me not to let ya near my tool Xena,

  I live by the maxim: "Why make a woman mad when with just a little extra effort you can send her right off!"

  unclebruce
• 

  bigboi

  I just woulda been one burnt m*f***a.

  ONE....

  bigboi

  "it's like the one thing we all have in common is that we
  got played by a cult and a bunch of old men and no matter what it will
  always be a part of us no matter how much we distance ourselves from it"~ Ghostquote
• 

  tyydyy

  I don't care how pissed off a woman is.....She's not getting my manhood in a vise!

  TimB
• 

  Seeker

  Female ignorance at work in that story. You can't get a tight enough grip on a penis, tight enough to prevent him from pulling it out albeit painfully but successfully, unless you press tight enough to crush it in the first place. Thus the story has no point. The penis is a goner already before the fire ever begins.
• 

  RationalWitness

  Seeker,

  Well, I think the reason Xena posted this in Jokes and Humour is because it is a JOKE, and not intended to be taken (too) seriously. Jokes typically do not square up closely with reality, and that's by intention. BTW, are you trying to do here exactly what the thread title says never to do? LOL ;^)

  Cheers,
  RW
• 

  D wiltshire

  I'm in too much pain to say anything right now.

  If someone lived a trillion X longer than you, and had a billion X more reasoning ability would he come to the same conclusions as you?
• 

  Seeker

  RW,

  I know it's a joke. I thought it was very funny, actually. But after I saw all the other guys talking about what they would do in such a circumstance, should it actually happen to them, I posted what I did to point out the impossibility of it ever occurring. It wasn't the joke I was responding to as much as the comments from the guys that followed.

  Yes, the initial comment about female ignorance was meant for whoever invented this joke in the first place (I have no idea who did).
• 

  unclebruce

  Dear bro.Seeker,

  Have you any sisters, daughters wives? lol. Women aren't rational logical creatures like us and hey can be extremely dangerous around yer tools.

  I know several women who'd have no problem clamping a chaps manhood in a vice without damaging it. Some girls specialise in a little thing called CBT. (cock and ball torture) ... or so i've heard.

  I'm no mad women but can imagine at least one successfull method. Lay the penis on top of the vice jaws, open slowly and slide just sheath skin into the jaws tightening them.

  I was gonna tell bigboi to get his right hand pumping the hacksaw into the vice bolts but didn't wanna risk it with xena nearby .. who knows what a woman scoffed at may do?

  uncircum bruce
• 

  bigboi

  It wasn't the joke I was responding to as much as the comments from the guys that followed.

  I was joking, btw.

  I was gonna tell bigboi to get his right hand pumping the hacksaw into the vice bolts but didn't wanna risk it with xena nearby .. who knows what a woman scoffed at may do?

  LMAO!

  ONE....

  bigboi

  "it's like the one thing we all have in common is that we
  got played by a cult and a bunch of old men and no matter what it will
  always be a part of us no matter how much we distance ourselves from it"~ Ghostquote