i was scared of armageddon...when the twin towers went down i was like 14 and i was so scared that it had started. its so crazy how much fear has been pushed into my brain..when i started my fade about a year ago i had a terrible time dealing with it...still sometimes wonder how it would be if it all came true...
As a Child, Which Did You Think About More?
by BabaYaga 49 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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PrimateDave
As a young boy I daydreamed a lot. My daydreams were imaginary worlds I made up in my mind that had nothing to do with the beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses. That's pretty much how I dealt with the mind killing boredom at the meetings and sometimes at school too. So, I never really thought much about paradise or armageddon. I guess I took it for granted that I would be in paradise, but it still never seemed very real to me.
Dave
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bluecanary
As a young boy I daydreamed a lot. My daydreams were imaginary worlds I made up in my mind that had nothing to do with the beliefs of
Jehovah's Witnesses. That's pretty much how I dealt with the mind killing boredom at the meetings and sometimes at school too.
I did this all the time. My mother did this, too, and for years she was wracked with guilt for not being able to keep from daydreaming. I'm so glad she got out with me.
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carla
And some people actually believe being raised a jw is not abuse?
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sir82
I didn't fear Armageddon so much as the wave of persecution that was promised to come right before it.
I grew up right when the rapings, killings, mutilations, etc. were going on in Malawi. We were told that such things could happen anywhere at any time. I was terrified of being thrown into prison, being tortured, etc. I used to wonder how I would ever resist being burned, beaten, etc.
When I was a teen I was fearful the draft would be re-instituted, I'd be forced to go to prison, and be raped by inmates there.
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IronHill
I used to be terrified of Armageddon...Anything made me fear for my life.
I remember borrowing a book from the library once and never returning it, and sometimes i would remember the book while laying in bed and would literally pray for hours terrified that I would be destroyed in Armageddon for stealing.
Thinking back, that was really sad...
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BabaYaga
Wow! Thanks for all the great responses. I see that I was not alone, after all...
White Dove and Sir82 mentioned growing up hearing the Malawi reports. Let me tell you... those of you who did not grow up hearing these things cannot imagine what that was like. As a small child, I actually heard of SPECIFIC METHODS of TORTURE being used on "our Brothers and Sisters in Malawi" from the Kingdom Hall platform. As you can well imagine, that has scarred me to this day. I will spare you all, I will not repeat that horror here.
And YES!!! The NIGHTMARES!!! The difference between the nightmares of an average child and that of a JW child is that the JW child fully believes that all the horrors in his dreams are real, even in waking hours. The fire and gaping cracks in the earth of Armegeddon, and demons demons demons everywhere. Perhaps the scariest thing of all was that my Mother believed my nightmares (night terrors, really) were real, too... she believed that I was demonized.
Love, strength and healing to us all!!! We are NOT alone anymore.
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The Berean
If I could just add ...
I was somewhere around 12 or 13 years old when I was awoken during the night by brilliant flashes of light and a loud buzzing sound outside my bedroom window. Without either looking or thinking I entered my closet and carefully put on my suit, tie, and dress shoes. You see, I assumed that this was the start of the "great tribulation" that I had been warned about. Prepared to watch the world crumble, I opened the curtains to see only an electrical transformer on a pole in front of my house shorting out and burning. Talk about "inculcation" ....
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BabaYaga
Oh, Berean! That is absolutely surreal!
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HintOfLime
Honestly, I didn't think about armegeddon that much... or the paradise. I daydreamed about my own little fantasy stories and just kinda ignored witness mythology in my daydreams.
I do recall having a ton of Armegeddon nightmares, and never a single dream where I was in paradise. I recall one particular nightmare where the sky turned black and the world was lit with an eery purple-brown light from directly above. The sky started flashing with lightning, and then everyone who wasn't worthy was struck by it.. it went on for hours like that, and then tornadoes came, and started sucking up all the buildings and dead bodies. But something 'went wrong', and a tornado came down on my family's house which is when I woke up.
I'm sure the dream was a loving provision from Jehovah to sacare me shitless into placing more magazines.
- Lime