Just got emailed this, and have re-thought my belief in Santa.
p.s. sorry about the spacing:
> > There are approximately two billion children (persons under
>>18) in the
>> > > world.
>> > > However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
>>Hindu, Jewish
>>or
>> > > Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions,
>> > > this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the
>>total, or
>>378
>> > > million (according to the population reference bureau).
>> > > At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household,
>>that comes
>>to
>> > > 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child
>>in each.
>> > >
>> > > Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to
>>the
>> > > different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming
>>east to
>>west
>> > > (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
>>second.
>> > > This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
>>child,
>>Santa
>> > > has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh,
>> > > hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute
>>the
>> > > remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have
>>been left
>>for
>> > > him,
>> > > get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto
>>the next
>>house.
>> > >
>> > > Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly
>>distributed
>>around
>> > > the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will
>>accept for
>> > > these calculations),
>> > > we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total
>>trip of 75.5
>> > > million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.
>> > >
>> > > This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
>>second--3,000
>>times
>> > > the speed of sound.
>> > > For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the
>>Ulysses
>> > > space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second,
>> > > and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per
>>hour.
>> > > The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element.
>> > >
>> > > Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium
>>sized LEGO set
>> > > (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons,
>>not
>>counting
>> > > Santa.
>> > > On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
>>pounds.
>> > >
>> > > Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times
>>the normal
>> > > amount, the job can't be done with 8 or even 9 of them -
>>Santa would
>>need
>> > > 360,000 of them.
>> > > This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the
>>sleigh,
>>another
>> > > 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
>>Elizabeth
>> > > (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650
>>miles per
>> > > second creates enormous air resistance -
>> > > this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
>>spacecraft
>> > > re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
>> > >
>> > > The lead pair of reindeer would adsorb 14.3 quintillion
>>joules of
>>energy
>> > > per second each.
>> > > In short, they would burst into flames almost
>>instantaneously, exposing
>> > > the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms
>>in their
>>wake.
>> > >
>> > > The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
>>thousandths of
>>a
>> > > second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house
>>on his
>>trip.
>> > >
>> > > Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of
>>accelerating
>> > > from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds,
>> > > would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g. A 250
>>pound
>>Santa
>> > > (which seems ludicrously slim)
>> > > would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds
>>of force,
>> > > instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a
>>quivering
>> > > blob of pink goo.
>> > >
>> > > Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
>> > >
>> > > Merry Christmas.
>>