I have an issue...

IronHill

Ok, here's my problem...

This weekend is my fiancee's district assembly, and she is attending. I am suppoused to accompany her Sat. and Sun. but i worked today so she is there with her family.

I have a serious problem with this. She comes from a "spiritually" strong family, who unfortunately still has some control over her. Plus, she has alot of witness friends, she's a popular one. She mentioned to me yesterday that she was going to try and catch up with some of them, and i wasn't fond of the idea.

I'm not sure if I'm afraid they'll try and talk her into becoming spiritual, or if it's just a slight show of jealousy.

Anyone understand what i mean? Why am i feeling this way?

blondie

I'm currently engaged to the most wonderful woman who, Thank God, shares my opinion of the org. We both have friends and family that are witnesses, and for that reason alone, have not severed our ties with them.

I see that you said this when you posted initially. If she truly shares your opinion of the organization, and has continued to do so, would association with her family change that or strengthen her feelings about the WTS? I would think she would see the things that made her leave mentally. I went to the meetings for about 4 years before I left permanently. I did not go over to the dark side.

IronHill

Thanks Blondie

She has reitirated to me that her opinions will not change, but i cant shake the feeling...

IronHill

bttt

homeschool

I agree with Blondie...I went to an assembly after I had decided it wasn't the troof, and it was the craziest thing ever. She will see for herself, although it may be a huge stuggle since she has so many "friends" in the faith. And you can't control what she does, I'm sure you know that. It's probably a little jealousy, but probably just uncertainty on your part. I wouldn't worry...

BluesBrother

I went to the D/C today as well - just to support and assist family...It certainly did NOT make feel that I wanted to re kindle the old "sprituality" I just wanted to leave the ground ASAP....Don't worry !

IronHill

homeschool, i know i cant control her, i wouldnt want to...but you're right, i think it's uncertainty. Man it doesnt feel good.

lol BluesBrother, I can see you hightailing it out of there...lol

Atomahawk

OP. It only becomes a problem if you allow it to become a problem, if she's says she is going there to see friends and family then you have accept it as such. Yes there's always the danger that they pressure her, but that's what happens when you jump into the lions den, if she is well armored she will come out of it relatively unscratched. If not expect the slow stroll down the yellow brick road. Depends on the maturity level of each individual from what I have seen.

Personally, unless I had doubt or desire to return to the JW’s, I for one would never set foot back into a KH or DA simply out of self respect for the decision I made. I lost a lot of family and friends and like many have suffered personally. But I rather have a clean conscience than play head games with myself and others.

Best Regards

Pardon my ignorance Blondie as I haven't been here long enough to know you, are you a female or male? Blondie=Woman name, Woman picture, Woman sign, all signs point to female. yet "I'm currently engaged to the most wonderful woman who"?

no more kool aid

IronHill, I am familiar with the feelings you are experiencing. My husband and I got out together, but his family did talk him into going to the memorial and it made me very nervous. You can't read their mind and you know very well it is a high pressure situation. I just rode it out with my lap top that night and was relived to see that he did not have the enchanting spiritual experience that I feared. Trust her.

Open mind

Hey Fiance, here's a little game to help the time pass during the DC.

It's called "GFC".

Every time you hear Guilt, Fear or Coersion being used by the speaker, put a little mark under the corresponding letter.

If anyone asks you can say it's the "God, Faith, Christ" game.

When/if you both have drifted further away in the future, you can move up to Blondie's game of Bullsh*t Bingo!

Also, don't lose sight of what is within and beyond your control. Whenever my "Am I being a jerk?" light comes on in my brain, my sphere of control is one of the first things I check.

All the best to you.

om

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