Materialism & Adultery

sweet pea

So, we were brought up in/enticed into an organisation that we believed was a spiritual paradise.

Everyone appearing to be better than the world around them. But were they?

My experience was of youngsters leading double lives, partying hard like the best of the world. Husbands and wives cheating on each other occasionally. People buying nice houses, nice cars and lots of travelling, oh and LOTS of problems with ALCOHOL! But personally I don't think it was any worse or better than anyone who wasn't a JW. Some may disagree here. The only difference was that we were fed the propaganda that EVERYONE in the world was a fornicator, adulterer, gambler, drug taker, alcoholic, cheater, materialist, etc.

When I left and got to know 'worldly people', sure, there were a few that swore, smoked, like to drink, were on their second marriages, liked the high life, fast cars, big houses etc, pursued education with a glorious career in mind. Big deal (not). I found that on a basic level people are good. I now have friends that do not judge me for: how many meetings I do or do not attend, how many times I show my face in the ministry, whether I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster or God or Allah, how big or small my house is. They like (or do not like) me based on who I really am. They are loyal friends, faithful partners and instill good morals in their kids (and most do not go to Church....). Totally unlike the picture painted by the Society. Although I miss my old JW friends, I certainly don't miss the subtle (and not so subtle) judgementalism of those friendships.

So what has been your experience?

If you saw more bad behaviour in general amongst your JW friends, WHY do you think that was? How did you excuse the behaviour at the time. What did you find when you left?

AllTimeJeff

The one thing I haven't done yet is make some friends. I have recently moved away from where all my JW bullshit occurred, so here I am, working and existing.

I totally feel you about this...

Although I miss my old JW friends, I certainly don't miss the subtle (and not so subtle) judgementalism of those friendships.

Amen!

To your question:

If you saw more bad behaviour in general amongst your JW friends, WHY do you think that was? How did you excuse the behaviour at the time. What did you find when you left?

I did see bad behavior, but not serious. I only hung around the elite like a total asshead. And until my later years, when some life experience mellowed me out, I was always ready to condemn weak JW's who were attracted to the world.

As I left, I saw that what these so called weak ones were attracted to was not bad at all, nor were they pursuing hurtful things. It shows a total lack of understanding about people to condemn as JW's do for being attracted to like people. JW's are very big on their definition of "unity", which is nothing more then enforced theological obedience. Your friends were pre-fabbed, they were your "Friends" simply because they loved the same god as you.

You actually never did matter in the big picture while a JW.

Since I have left, I am jealous of those who were stronger then me, those who were always viewed as "weak" JW's were always stronger then this Gilead trained ex elder. They continue to show me the way. They simply got a life of their own. I never had a life, I was stuck to the nipple of the GB. My life just started, and I am still learning a lot.

I don't judge anymore. I do believe in right decisions and consequences, but often, we learn at our own pace, and life IS the great teacher. We can share here; hopefully the older we get, the better those shared lessons can be in helping us. If a person makes a mistake, or several, all that means is that is what its going to take to learn.

crapola

I just mentioned to my daughter today how I view non-JW people in a very different way than I used to. Not all are bad, many have turned out to be better than many of the Witness friends that I used to have. Most people are actually pretty nice and want to just lead a good life. And like was mentioned earlier, I'm not judged by how many meetings I go to or don't go to. I saw much more hypocrisy in the org.

zarco

It is embarrassing to say, in our experience non-witnesses seem to be better people. It seems that the "Jehovah will take care of everything" attitude causes witnesses to not be environmentally friendly, they do not think long term. When you think the end is coming and that over 99.6 percent of the world (people) is/are going to get destroyed then why take care of the earth, why conduct business as if your reputation has to last a lifetime, why save for the future, why educate yourself, why be kind to your neighbor because he/she will be gone soon anyway. It is an insane religion. May god (if there is one) help us all.

Zarco

zarco

Have you ever posted your best post and no one noticed :)

The Almighty Homer

I noticed Zarco, and your comments are very relevant concerning many personalties of typical JWS.

Not the best people to get socially close to.

oompa

dead on sweetie.........i just wish i was among your friends like that now...i only have a few newbies there..........i am fourth gen and lost soooooo many........an YA!!........it is not an EVIL SICK WICKED WHIRLL out there!!.........there is no dif in us and them for the most part....oompa

hit me if you are on facebook

edit.....holy crap!......what a profile you have!....even your email....and a great story....yours is so full...mine is not.......but if you email is still active i will check you out on facebook......ya.....i see you are married......lucky guy got you out.......not me

zarco

Thanks, Homer. Now I can go to sleep:)

sweet pea

I noticed Zarco! You are spot on - it's uncomfortable remembering back to those days when I wasn't that interested in being 'green' because what was the point? You were fighting a losing battle and Jehovah was going to take care of it anyway! Now I know that one person can make a difference if there are enough of them. If we don't take care of our planet right now, our children could be in trouble.

I very much regret not going to University, not concentrating on a career. I know it's never too late but damn it, we gave our best years away and what did we get in return????????

The one good thing to come out of this - our children will (hopefully) value education, have a good career, care for the planet, save for their future and 'love thy neighbour'!

sweet pea

ATJ you make some great points, succinct and insightful as always, thanks for your input.

You have friends here if you ever get the urge to come to LA...... you too Oomps, hang in there, I'm sure things will get better for you in time.

Crapola - I'm with you there - what a relief to find so many cool people out there in the 'world', who would have guessed??!!!!!!

Materialism & Adultery

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