To: Ex-JW Women - Your Side (page 5)

Lady Lee

Amazing - this was a good discussion so I am sending it bttt

Aztec

Lee, be careful of bumping threads back to the top.

~Aztec

Thanks for sending this back to the top, I didn't see it the first time. I always had the brothers p.o.'d at me. I remember when I read the Babylon book, I "got" it at the first reading. I was about 11 or 12 at the time. I used to wave my hand in the air at the bookstudy thinking "call on me, I know the answer." They would just look over me. Later some of the older sisters would tell me, I just never could understand that book.

Well that got me into trouble. As the statement was made earlier that it was harder for the intelligent, I think that may be because with that intelligence often comes that nasty little pride thing, and possibly some stubborness. I also had a smattering of independence to go along with all those faults and these things were used as a stick to beat me with.

If you can't be subservient, or submissive, an effort is made to "break" you. I was told all my life that because of my strong personality I would need a strong man to control me. So, like a dutiful little girl I found and married one. I did slip the one little wrench in there, he was an unbeliever. But oh was he controlling and verbally abusive. He wore me down until I had no self esteem left and I was so depressed I couldn't hardly get out of bed in the morning. The elders and my parents were quick to point out that if he were treating me badly there must have been something I was doing to deserve it.

Also, I might point out, that over the 15 years we were married he was called on by the "brothers." So he learned enough to be dangerous. He was very quick to pick up on the need for the husband to be the head and for the wife to be submissive. Gee thanks.

Well thats enough, I actually divorced him and left the JWs for the last time at the same time. What do you know, I got a life in the process!

Gretchen

FlyingHighNow

Well, how did I miss this thread? I'll have to put some thought into a response. Otherwise it might be too long and one of those "wear your heart on your sleeve" replies.

I will say that I knew some wonderful men inside the org. These men were intelligent and kind and would never have treated any woman or girl as an inferior.

I also knew men who feared women and women being treated as equals. What a shame.

I feel like the headship arrangement is touted as something that will make men and women happy. I didn't see it make any man truly happy. How can you be happy when you treat grown women like children? How can you be happy when your wife doesn't live up to an impossible ideal and you are constantly disappointed? How can you be happy when the Governing Body gives you an easy way out of any problem? "Shut up woman, I am the man. I am the head. We'll do it this way because I say so." It may be an easy way out but when used constantly, children grow up unfathered. They grow up with a bad example of fathering. The wife grows tired of not having a voice and she eventually seeks her freedom and finds it if she's lucky.

I'm very glad to have left the headship arrangement behind. I am happy to see most brothers who have come out have left it behind as well. Sometimes men still say things on this board that make me shake my head in disbelief. For the most part though, I think you're all pretty intelligent and kind in how you deal with women. I thank you for that. I am sure your wives and significant others thank you as well.

Heather

Lady Lee

Neither of you saw it before because it is an older thread. I suppose I could have restarted it but this was easier

Sassy

The headship role plays a big factor on the lives of men and women in the WTS. I think there are few women who ever had an argument with their husband where he didn't use the "headship" card. I know I was a door mat and yet my first husband pulled that and his father every five minutes was telling him to take me to the elders because I wasn't submissive enough.. Funny thing is I really was too submissive and that was what pushed me around.

When I fell by the way side a few years ago for a time I actually 'fell into' a Master/sub relationship with a brother. We were engaged but I ended up calling off the marriage. Two relationships later I fell into another same type situation with another man who was never babtized but raised in the WTS. I strongly feel that my upbringing and being stepped on and walked on and ordered around with the support of elders and the WTS is what put me into that mode that allowed me to be in the 'obedient role'. I think I will always have a weakness with controlling men because of it... I am very independent and strong in many many ways, but a man who knows how to play that role, can with the snap of his fingers put me back there if he knows what he is doing and I let him get that close. I totally blame the brainwashing for setting me up for that.

To: Ex-JW Women - Your Side

Lady Lee

Aztec

Gretchen956

FlyingHighNow

Lady Lee

Sassy

Lady Lee

MMXIV

Stealth

palmtree67

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