You Have No Witness "Friends"

by metatron 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  metatron

  I apologize for this point, as if beating it to death, but folks, You don't have any Witness friends! There is no such thing.

  Does that sound extreme? Too radical? Suppose a Catholic priest or Rabbi or Pastor tells you to never speak to someone or never even say hello?

  Your reaction might be "F--k you, I'll decide who I want as a friend or not". But no so if you are a Witness. Three elders in any congregation can order the end of a friendship and enforce it.

  Not only that, but your "friendship" is usually based on regular meeting attendance and correct answers to inquisition style queries demanding loyalty to Witness leaders.

  Oh, and let's add the fact .....yes, lurkers, FACT!..... that Witnesses are such expert shunners that they may shun you regardless of the above points. Examples?

  1) You're the Theocratic Ministry School overseer and you MUST schedule sisters carefully as many of them won't talk to each other and so if you assign them, they won't show up.

  2) You shun anyone for displeasing you and conveniently classify them as "unfaithful" somehow. You do this for months to your own father and then discover (even though HE ATTENDS MEETINGS) that he died suddenly today of heart failure. Feel good about yourself, sister?

  3) You try to lead the morning group out in field service but you never seem to have success because nobody told you about what Witnesses aren't talking to each other this month.

  4) You go to the Hall on Sunday and notice 5 - 6 married couples sitting apart from each other. I guess they weren't talking to each other ( Witness elder confirmed that).

  5) A Brother has kidney failure. Out of his extended Witness family, rated by meeting attendance, who finally gave him a kidney? ( answer:the one barely a Witness at all)

  6) Disfellowshipping can have the practical effect of removing family members. Aunt/Uncle/Dad/Mom/Child df'd and you treat them as dead to you? If you can go along with dumping them, even in principle, I can't see how you should have any trouble understanding my point about Witnesses not having or being real friends.

  There are other appropriate, accurate terms to use other than "friend" - such as "associate" or "allies". Describing a Jehovah's Witnesses as your "friend" is akin to "virgin whore" or "Arab Unity" or perhaps "kind-hearted torturer".

  In any case, you have no Witness friends. Sorry, but if you need friends, look elsewhere.

  metatron
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  kitten whiskers

  Oh how I wish I had known these things so long ago!

  I'll never forget my first pioneer meeting! A fight between 3 or 4 sisters broke out! Yelling, accusations, tempers flaring...and one was so meek I would have never thought her to have it in her! The C.O. sat blindsided for a moment, and I wanted to run out. I never ever knew the things that went on between the "spiritual pillars"!

  I never thought my own mother would turn her back on me. My sister, I knew would sell me for a penny if given a chance.

  The "kindred heart" friend dropped me faster than a New York minute. That was just for expressing doubts. I hadn't even left yet. Just reaching out in pain and frustration, and a friendship of 20 years was gone. Best friends. Maid of honor at each others wedding, first born children were 6 days apart...we did everything and shared our lives as if we were twins. Gone.

  No. There is no friendship (except when you find those who have left also and reconnect!) So much pain, so little love.
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  JerkhovahsWitless

  My life long experience with witness friends, has been for the most part, they only want to use you. They'll take all they can get and you won't hear from them again until its time to take some more.

  Most of the time you never get too close to any of them because there's phony spiritual walls built up. Its hard to truly know someone when you have to be cautious with what you say or do doesn't trigger the cult insanity thats festering in their brain.

  Then there's the problem with how can you be friends with someone who you can't trust with information that would require they turn you into the independent thought and morality police.

  I only have one JW friend that knows a lot of dirt on me and I know dirt on that friend. They are the most involved person in my personal life and know my feelings towards the cult. I know that friends feelings of disbelief in the WT and bible as well, yet that friend remains a JW for family and will probably get married into it and be trapped for life. I'm looking to break away, so when that happens that friend will have no choice but to shun me like the rest.

  Not even that friend can prove to be a real friend as long as being one of Jehovah's Witlesses.
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  nelly136

  years ago i came to the conclusion, jw friendship is a never ending hire purchase agreement, your goods depend on your latest payment, if you dont make it theyre repossessed.
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  Hope4Others

  don't forget about Sister Change.....the brother arranges the car groups, but not just quite right for sister change....so she starts moving

  people around....

  this is an actual experience and it happened when the circuit servant arranged the groups....So when she raised her hand a couple

  of times he just said; "Yes, sister change" it was hilarius and sooooooooo her...hehehe

  h4o
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  allelsefails

  I agree with the viewpoint of the ORG as a whole, however there are a few who genuinely believe that Jehovah God almighty sovereign of the universe speaks to them thru 12 guys in NY. And they get really confused when their natural "friendship" conflicts with what they're told. Because JWs often prey on the uneducated and and "less intelligent" (sorry for the truth here) they don't have the capacity to truly "think" for themselves. These people can be true friends, but Jehovah has told them to act a certain way and so they will inspite of their true feelings for friends. Of the 20 or so "friends" I had 2 or 3 are in this category.
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  WTWizard

  The ones that are true friends usually end up turning apostate, just as those who have any real brains usually turn apostate.

  I have seen this evan among the hounders. One of them tries to do something the others do not agree with or will not go along with Project Keep Me Celibate, and the others will do all they can to purge the one that did not go along. Usually, the one that did not agree will be put out on flimsy or false grounds, while gossip and slander starts around. We had one like that in my former congregation (the only one in the body that did not agree to keeping the opposite sex away from me), and he was reproved on false grounds. Worse, the hounders started and spread slander about his being disfellowshipped, at that on more than one occasion (on that occasion, and later on an unrelated charge). No wonder inactivity was the result of all this.

  These days, all that's left is crap hounders. Every single one of them wants me to go out in field circus to just meet men, just work with men, and be around just plain men all the time (and, now that they have the August 2009 Kingdumb Misery article in their hands, I am sure they are plotting on making that a reality--I would like to see a bug implanted to record the hounders' meeting this coming Sunday after the boasting session). Anyone that is not in favor of it will be cast out as "bad association", and probably reproved and looked down on for flimsy or false reasons.
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  verystupid77

  You are so right you have no friends in the witness world. Oh I could go on and on about this. When ever I brought this up to my husband he said I just needed to keep my blinders on and I am only serving Jehovah remember not men.

  So many times I just wanted to scream. I have finally stopped going to the meeting after never and I mean NEVER missing meeting and you guessed it no one cares. They all treat me as being df'ed.

  Amazing. No one wants to know why, they all just shun me. Feel the love
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  LongHairGal

  This happens to be fact. You really do not have any REAL friends there. Every friendship is conditional. When I first realized this years ago, it was a cold realization that hurt me. Now, I am relieved. I have been in a fading mode since the end of 2000. I go to the Memorial plus 1-2 mtgs. a year. I have only two active friends. I am sure at least one of them would drop me like a hot potato if need be. The other I am not so sure about but probably so.

  I have made friends on the outside and can honestly say that I do not miss the so-called association of the people in the religion. I never really felt accepted. I felt they were like a hologram on the wall. Not 'real'. They were only 'friends' as long as you were in the same building. It seemed weird and unnatural and this is without all the judgmentalism.

  The advice I would give to lurkers looking to exit the religion is that you should carefully and discreetly make friends and contacts on the outside before you even think of putting your foot out. This will make your transition easier. In time, you will not miss all the people who were never really a true friend in the first place.

  LHG
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  mrsjones5

  Yeah, I realized that when I was a teen.

  Josie