My wife 'faded' during the same time I DA'd myself. We are absolutely both on the same page.
It is interesting [and on another level disturbing] that 'status' plays so heavily in the minds of Jw's and their relationships. As many others have related, my wife sometimes is engaged in conversations with Jw's she meets in public, while all those same Jw's will totally 'shun' me - sometimes in the same moment. My wife has elected to 'lay low', at least for now, as her mother is still alive and her health is faltering some now. She wants to be able to stay in touch with her mom.
The other day an interesting conversation between my wife and her sister as they worked together to finalize nursing home arrangements for their mother.
Bonnie asked my wife when she was 'returning to the Hall again?'
My wife answered simply 'Never'.
Bonnie asked why?
My wife answered that she was never going to subject herself to the hatefullness that she experienced when our daughter was disfellowshipped many years ago.
Bonnie was not satisfied, and followed with, 'What about you? Do you believe the same things that Jeff believes now?'
Now this is an interesting question from more than a single perspective.
- First of all - since none of the bastards at the KH have ever bothered to acurately determine by asking, how would any of them know 'what I believe' ?
- Since my SIL has not so much as spoken a civil word to me in the past five years of my absence from the KH, how does she know anything at all about what I believe?
- Why would she make the assumption that my wife has 'accepted' what I believe?
I worry that she might have been 'baiting' my wife, trying to see if she has 'gone over' to the apostate world with me. I found the wording very odd coming from her. First question was in essence 'Are you coming back to Jehovah?' Second was in essence 'Do you still believe even the unique teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses'
I wonder if this was some sort of effort to trap her into saying something that could be used to DF her. My wife did not bite. Gave her no information. I honestly hope the elders were not behind this -but it has the ring of that to my ears.
Maybe just my paranoia.
Jeff