going to wal mart by age

John Doe

Going to Wal-Mart By Age

Scenario:

You are in the middle of some kind of project around
the house mowing the lawn,
putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or
whatever. You are hot and
sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old
work clothes on. You know
the outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old
T-shirt with a stain from who
knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right
in the middle of this great
home improvement project you realize you need to run
to Wal- Mart to get
something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow
dry your hair, brush your
teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check
yourself in the mirror and flex.
Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never
know, you just might meet
some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane.
You went to school with the
pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and
shirt. Change shoes. You
married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash
your hands and comb your
hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it.
Add a shot of your favorite
cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running
the register is the kid
sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is
long enough to cover the hole
in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes
and a hat. Wash your
hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty
so you don't want to waste
any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in
the mirror and do more
sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing
running the register is your
daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is
spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt
off your hands onto your
shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to
get dirt in your new sports car.
Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to
wear that shirt anymore
because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the
register smiles when she
sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then
you remember the hat you
have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and
it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.
Hose the dog #### off your
shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your
50's. You hope you have
underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your
pants. The girl running the
register may be cute, but you don't have your
glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until
they have your
prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the
dog #### on your shoes. The
young thing at the register smiles at you because you
remind her of her
grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop
again. Now you remember
you needed to go to Wal-Mart.

Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think
what the hell it is you are
looking for.

Fart out loud and you think you heard someone
called out your name.

You went to school with the old lady who greeted
you at the front door..

watson

How can a young guy like you be so "spot on??" Funny.

AK - Jeff

Funny stuff. Right on target too. Where'd ya' steal that? Just kidding.

Jeff

dudeson

I'm 23 and can attest to the 20's part except i'm usually there after a few beers at the local brewery.

Robdar

LMAO

Lillith26

LMAO

I'm a chick in my 20's so: I stop what I'am doing, change my shoes, fix my hair and make-up, who cares if I get Dad's new car dirty by wearing my work clothes, the young guy at counter kinda likes the hole in my pants, anyway pink underwear will always get you a discount!, the guy at the counter says "can I help after i finish work?", I say "sure, thanks" then sit back and watch dumb young horny guy do my dirty work for me for free!!! Not bad for dumb blonde hey? LOL

John Doe

How can a young guy like you be so "spot on??" Funny.

By knowing how to copy and paste.

John Doe

I say "sure, thanks" then sit back and watch dumb young horny guy do my dirty work for me for free!!! Not bad for dumb blonde hey? LOL

That's a mean way to talk about a guy who helped you out.

Lillith26

the guy at the counter says "can I help after i finish work?", I say "sure, thanks" then sit back and watch dumb young horny guy do my dirty work for me for free!!! Then I take nice out for beer to say thankyou!

John Doe

Then I take nice out for beer to say thankyou!

That's better.

going to wal mart by age

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