Just look at the evidence. True, you are always going to have one exception at times in patterns. But, does God display a pattern of loving you and caring for you? Or, do you almost always have to put in the work, only to have it messed up by everything you could not control or by a past mistake that you are trying to fix? Or, is there no pattern either way? Be objective (the more objective you can be, the better results you will get).
This is a reasonable, scientific approach for determining whether God cares about you, hates you, doesn't exist, or doesn't give a f*** either way. Of course, it is not perfect (I am not pretending it is--it only gives you a basic idea, and in your case only). If God loves you, you would find the majority of times when you did everything or nearly everything right, most of the things beyond your control would be in your favor. If God hates you, you would expect the majority of things beyond your control to be against you, or every effort you put in for fulfillment to run into dead ends right before the critical stage (and you get little to no benefit). No identifiable correlation means that God either doesn't give a f*** or doesn't exist.
Remember, this is not a valid test to show if God loves or hates someone else--trying to reason "God does all these nice things for me, so of course He loves you and everyone else" is nothing more than a non sequitur. Better to reason that "It appears that God loves me, even if the same cannot be said about whether He loves anyone else". And be advised that, the more honest you are at analyzing whether you are actually doing the work yourself or not, the less likely you are to run into false conclusions.