Once couple I know had the C.O. over for a meal. While they were sitting in the living room the wife told the husband, I hate you, I've never loved you and I want a divorce. I am through with this. The meal was spoiled. They "had" to get married when they studied to become witnesses. The child was old enough to go on thier own and it was time to dump the jackass she was married to. The C.O. wont forget that meal! W.Once
Ministerial servant mentions more "empty nester" JW couples getting divorced
by truthseeker 32 Replies latest jw friends
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palmtree67
I was married over 20 years.
It was wrong from the beginning. And I felt like I was the only one in the marriage who was even trying.
I really believe part of the problem is that the society is decades behind what is really happening in the world.
It is getting harder and harder for a family to live on one income. More and more women are having to work outside the home. But the men in the Org are still being taught that women should be "workers at home."
I worked a full time job, did ALL the cooking,c leaning, laundry, meeting preparation, study with the kids, I DID IT ALL. All I needed was a little help. But men in the Org are continually taught that is "Woman's Work."
I think I just finally gave up.
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passwordprotected
I've noticed that it just takes one couple in a congregation to separate for the 'flood gates' to open and several others to follow suit, almost as if it was a game of chicken to see who could stay in their rotten marriage the longest.
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superman
I think like most other poeple in general, people get divorced for many reason, and sometimes because marriage is just plain difficult. Though I think that this trend is somewhat alarming within the JW world. I don't think that it is really all that much of a schock to many outside of the witnesses. I personally have seen many people (non-jw) who were married call it quits after 20+ years of marriage. I think the reason why it comes as such a shock is because as witnesses were always told of extreme cases of 'worldly' people getting divorced all 'willy-nilly' for any reason. But us witnesses, we were special and able to make things work and stick it out no matter how difficult they were (all you need is a prayer and some WT articles to make things work). I think that marriage is difficult for anyone (Both JW and Non-JW), and witnesses aren't immune to the same challenges that affect the worldy people. In fact I know of a lot of young witnesses (30 and under) who are already divorced. I think if you go into it with blinders on, thinking that god will help you, or you marry for the wrong reason from the get-go it's bound to fail no matter what!
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lifelong humanist
Maybe the modern day JW is just more honest and realistic, and if the marriage is heading for the rocks, the decision to divorce is no longer seen as such a bad thing. I'm still happilly married to my wife of almost 38 years. I'll be even happier when she quits the JWs. Hopefully, that won't be too many years from now!
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WTWizard
That's what you get when all the time gets sucked into field circus and boasting sessions, and everything you do in the bedroom is what the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger tells you. There is no money, no personal authority (for either partner--men are subject to the congregation hounders, women are subject to the men who are too often tyrants), and no excitement. Very often, the "marriage" is only a way to have a partner in field circus all the time.
Yes, they marry for all the wrong reasons. They are told to give up all the characteristics they are really attracted to--physical beauty, money, ability to run a household, not being excessively pushy, and being intelligent. Instead, they are supposed to be attracted because they are pio-sneers, or because the husband-to-be is a hounder or working hard in that direction (and not set aside for the Value Destroyer Training School by the other witlesses). That is almost a guarantee that it will end in divorce or will stagnate into a completely loveless sham "marriage".
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OnTheWayOut
So I see those from my generation now getting divorced having rushed into a hasty marriage and now having children able to be responsible for their own eternal future.
Blondie has it on the nose. I want to add one point that wasn't mentioned- it's the most important point. Let's face it. JW's mostly married for SEX. Teens married for SEX because they weren't supposed to get it without marriage. Anyone past the "bloom of youth" still married for SEX. Many were totally incompatible or only had WTS in common. They stayed together for the sake of the kids or to wait for "the end." The kids left and waiting was getting old. They may not have enjoyed the sex as much as needed to stay together. Certainly, sex won't sustain most people anymore when they want more out of life at an older age, and more out of their partner.
I imagine that most of these divorced older "empty nesters" let WTS into the bedroom and ruin that too.
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The Almighty Homer
Just to support the statement that most JWS are indeed procured hastily for the reason of having sex.
I think this adds greatly to destabilize the marriage further down the road in the marriage.
I can remember people getting married as teenagers and just about all of them failed.
Oh yes I was one of those teenagers, who ended up in a divorce few years latter on.
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DaCheech
now let me get this right:
the Witlesses abhor people living together before marriage (to test each other)
but they allow people to disobey god (holy marital arrangement for life with adultery as label for having sex with another mate) by divorcing?
their circular reasoning will make an excuse for any of their sanctioned actions