I too used to crap my pants worrying about 'persecution' as a kid after reading about what happened in Malawi & Germany...........I knew I would 'let Jehovah down'.
I also couldn't come to terms with how Jehovah would be there assessing the pain being inflicted on my body deciding whether or not I could take having the rest of my nails ripped off before he stepped in.
It seemed Jehovah was part of the persecution.
Very disturbing
Ed