Elder Book: Don't DF JWs who talk to DFed family. Usually. Your take? (page 2)

cantleave

1. Which "wrong course" is the book referring to? What the DFed person was DFed for or the "wrong course" of the current JW talking to them? I've always assumed is was the former.

The wrong course is the rebellious course that resulted in the unrepentant attitude culminating in disfellowshipping. A family member, who continue to assciates with the DF'd is likely to be influenced by the unreasonable thinking of the DF'd one, and so therefore needs to be encouraged to maintain a view to treat the rebellious one as if they were a Tax Collector. Any association wil be putting your spiritual health at risk.

2. What's your experience with this issue: JWs getting caught talking to DFed close relatives?

They usually get grassed up by some spiteful member of the congregation and the Elders will dissuade them from associating with the dF'd one, pointing out the dangers and reminding them how close we are to the end of this system of things, that we wouldn't want to displease our loving father Jehovah etc.

The last time I shepherded someone in this situation, they only really wanted to visit their grandchild, I told them to be discreet!

WuzLovesDubs

I think all you need do is ask Ray Franz if you can be disfellowshipped for hanging around with a DFd person. He is THE example and everything else is downhill from there.

If they want to get you...they will.

steve2

My lovely elderly JW mother has never made a secret of her continued contact with me. Never. She's a determined woman who stands no nonsense from others who try to interfere. Not once have the local elders questioned her about her continued close contact with me and my family. She continues to be very supportive of me - on occasion we have some interesting conversations characterized by mutual respect but our relationship has always extended beyond "the religion". When I see the way other ex-JWs have been treated by their close relatives, I consider myself to be very fortunate. On the other hand, my other relatives "buried" me in the 1980s. Oh well, you can't have everything.

Open mind

OTWO: Oh how I'd love to give the first response just to see their reaction!

LOL @ cantleave. "Be discreet". No wonder you're fading. Too much common sense and compassion coming through!

Wuz Luvs Dubs:

Ray Franz technically got the axe for having lunch with a DFed person who wasn't a relative.

But you're right: "If they want to get you...they will."

Yep. All they have to do is say you've got a nasty case of rebellious attitude and you'll be DFed quicker than they can say "Loose Conduct".

*Loose Conduct in Koine Greek had the original connotation of "gaping maw, catch all or if all else fails...punt."

om

blondie

Ray Franz was df'd but his wife was not and she had a meal with the same person at the same time..........

Open mind

nathmedea:

Thanks for letting us know that the " international unity" of Jehovah's people isn't quite so united after all.

steve2:

Just curious, did your Mom know what the official back-room elder rules were, or does she just have a good heart and spine?

If it came down to her possibly getting DFed, do you think she would stick to her guns?

om

Open mind

Blondie:

I hope your not suggesting that God's Organization was showing partiality.

Thanks for the extra damning info.

om

bennyk

Normally, a close relative would not be disfellowshipped
for associating with a disfellowshipped person unless there
is spiritual association or an effort made to justify or
excuse the wrongful course.

The weasel-word here is "normally", which creates a huge loophole permitting especially agressive Elders to ignore page 103.

Open mind

Good catch bennyk. WT "rules" have more loops than grandma's sweaters.

om

steve2

steve2:

Just curious, did your Mom know what the official back-room elder rules were, or does she just have a good heart and spine?

If it came down to her possibly getting DFed, do you think she would stick to her guns?

My mother, being elderly (in her 80s) is viewed affectionately in her local congregation as a bit eccentric and as such appears to get away with things that others would not. But she's always been somewhat independent-minded. If it came to her choosing between me and the organization, my heart tells me she'd stick by my side, but my brain tells me she probably wouldn't - and I don't think I'd want her to be out in that position (and in point of fact, she hasn't). She is one of the few JWs I know who has a nice unquestioning faith in "Jehovah" and while she can agree that specific people in the organization have done bad things - for example, she seems to hate Judge Rutherford whom she listened to in an overseas convention in the 1930s - she believes it is God's channel.But she has never pushed the issue with me. Mutual respect is a lovely aspect of my relationship with her.

Elder Book: Don't DF JWs who talk to DFed family. Usually. Your take?

Share this