And when Noah's wife left the kitchen and sat beside him to watch TV he realised her chain needed to be shortened
NOAH'S WIFE MAY HAVE KEPT AWAY FROM THE SPIDERS ON ARK
by badboy 28 Replies latest jw friends
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Leolaia
You guys are a riot!
Noah's wife kept nagging Noah to please open the window on the ark, she couldn't reach that high, and the constant flatulance from the cattle, elephants, deer, bison, zebras, rhinos, gazelles, pandas, sheep, sloths, hippos, giraffes, yaks, gorillas, etc. was making her sick.
She may have also had a nervous breakdown from insomnia, wishing she had been swept away in the Flood instead of having to live a whole year trapped inside a filthy, noisy floating menagerie. And since the ark inhabitants had to be hosts to the scores of communicable diseases, Noah's wife may have been suffering with measles, smallpox, Whooping cough, and maybe malaria. Maybe she was in such torment that like Job's wife she cursed God for putting her in that godawful plight. And she blamed her dead mom for ever linking her up with that lazy Noah.
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frankiespeakin
Bad Boy,
After giving it further consideration I think the shit problem was far grosser than the spider problem for Noah's wife, and I'd don't think they had much sex while riding that in that death trap for a year either and that might that might have been a major cause in Noah's drinking problem after they got out of the ark.
No sex, the stench of shit from a huge variety animal life burned into his nostrils while trapped in that miserable ark, so Noah must have been fighting a serious depression after the whole ordeal,,in fact I'm sure all 8 survivors were mentally scared to say the least. Shit and being packaged like sardines would produce profound mental changes.
On second thought I don't think they had any stoves or fire on the ark after the first couple of day penned up in there because with all that methane gas they would have blown the roof right off the ark.
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Leolaia
I wonder how many insect species had to go extinct in order to feed those hungry spiders.
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The Almighty Homer
Over the duration of the trip, many a times the words were spoken " OOPS.... I STEPPED ON ANOTHER ONE NOAH "
Noah in return said ...." Jesus Christ people how many times do I have to tell you to watch where your walking,
God has the list of all the animals that we brought in and he's going to check "
.........by the way who's Jesus Christ ?
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shamus100
Very interesting question!
I guess Noah wasn't an anacharoiditisitt (er, um someone who is afraid of spiders, arachnaphobia?)
Did the spiders crawl in their mouths when they slept? Inquiring minds need to know.
Thanks again for your noah threads, badboy. Nobody does them like you. It just shows how ridiculous the noahs ark story was - now if people could just equate that to the story of Abraham, Job, Adam and Eve, and, unfortunately, the whole flicking thing.
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elder-schmelder
Did Noah have AIDS or did the moneys on the boat have AIDS?
elder-schmelder
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shamus100
What ever happened to this guy?
I mean the poster... we all know what happened to Noah.
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shamus100
:D
