They do this on purpose so they can force celibacy on you. If they can't get every member of the opposite sex to reject you (like they did with me), and they have a married couple, they will impose stagnation to bust it up. And, they will declare that you are not free to remarry just so you will have to remain celibate--which doesn't make sense since you are technically still married and hence ineligible for the Value Destroyer Training School.
scripturally free to remarry secret!!!
by asilentone 26 Replies latest jw experiences
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shopaholic
This whole "scripturally free to remarry" thing, is that just with the JWs or do other religions do it too?
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AGuest
May you have peace! I thought your question was interesting and what came to my head (and heart) is "accountable to whom?" Ah, well. But, I'd like to comment further, if I may. Before I do, however, please note that what I am about to share with you is not intended in any way as a means of judgment or meddling. It is just for those who want to know and it is: you cannot get out of a marriage just by having sex with someone else, at least, not in God's eyes. In the eyes of the Most Holy One of Israel there are only three (3) "spiritually legal" ways to get out of a marriage, two of which are grounds for divorce:
1. If your spouse (not you) has committed fornication
2. If your spouse (not you) has committed adultery
3. If your spouse dies
In each of these instances, you are "free" to remarry. In the case of the first two, however, although YOU may have had sex with someone else, if your spouse has not you have no spiritual "grounds" for divorce (they have grounds against you, which they can choose not to take). Indeed, even if YOU haven't had sex with someone else, but you divorce your spouse on grounds other than the two above, you now make that spouse "a subject for adultery," because any sexual relationship they have afterward, and as a result, is adultery.
This is the reason for the admonition that "overseers" are to be "husbands of ONE wife." The WTBTS (and many other religions) teach that Paul was addressing the subject of polygamy. He was not. He was addressing those who had left one wife for another, without spiritually legal grounds. In these cases, such men were "married" to more than one wife: the one they had left and the new one they had taken. Happens in the WTBTS all the time: Brother John can't live with super-hyper-ultra-naggy Sister Mary not one more day and so, somewhat understandably leaves her. He has sex with another woman so that there are "grounds for divorse" and then takes a new wife. In the eyes of God, however, he is now married to two women. Or... Sister Eve is abused by Brother Adam and, understandably, divorces him. She remarries very nice Brother Peter; however, in the eyes of God she is still married to Adam, so she is now a wife of two husbands. Or... Sister Eve doesn't remarry, but Brother Adam does. He has now committed adultery, but Eve is also be culpable.
Paul did write that one was to remain with one's spouse if the spouse was "agreeable to dwelling" with one. However, even if the spouse is not (i.e., abusive, wants to leave, etc.), the grounds for divorce aren't there. This is because spouses are "bound" to one another for as long as they live, unless there is an event of fornication or adultery. Otherwise, only death severs the bond.
Now, again, I do not share this with you to judge or put anyone "under law." I share it because it is the TRUTH... and because those who find themselves in this situation need to know that they can be FORGIVEN. Not in the WTBTS way ("Well, we like Brother John and he's 'reaching out' so we'll forgive him, but we always thought Sister Eve had too much mouth anyway and so who can blame Brother Adam, you know? It's his job to put her in her place.") No, in the "way" of the Christ: out of LOVE, which is manifest in mercy and forgiveness.
The Holy One of Israel, JAHESHUA MISCHAJAH, knows what we are made of; he knows the flesh and it's weaknesses. Remember, he was tested like us in ALL respects, so he understands not only the need(s) of the flesh, but the need(s) of the heart... for things like companionship, validation, acceptance, not to be abused (in any manner), etc. He understands. And he does forgive. Problem is, most folks don't realize they NEED forgiveness in this regard because either (1) divorce is so common and the government really doesn't have much to say on it, and (2) religion goes to the other extreme and has a LOT to say on it. Both extremes have resulted in a total lack of knowledge as to what God and Christ really feel about the matter. And it is this:
Spouses are bound to each other as long as they live and a marriage only ends on the grounds above. If, however, one does commit adultery or fornication... THERE IS A RANSOM... a price... which has already been paid. The blood of Christ. On the basis of his blood this error can be forgiven. All one need do... is ask. Go to God, through Christ, and ask that the error be forgiven. Many people walk around with bruised consciences because they believe (i.e., been taught) that such an error cannot be forgiven. That is not the TRUTH. Dear ones, the only UNforgiveable sin is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. ALL others sins, including fornication and adultery can... and will... be forgiven. John 8:11
And so, you ask. Now what? Well, you must "exercise" FAITH... that it IS forgiven... that the "thing" you "hoped for" will be granted. That is what faith IS: the ASSURED expectation of the thing HOPED for. You hoped to be forgiven, and now you must be assured that what you expect will be.
Yes, but do you need to leave the new spouse? Well, let's look at it from two angles: in the first instance, your former spouse has also remarried or committed fornication or adultery. So, now you ARE "free." That doesn't get you off the hook if, for example, you divorced him/her and he/she had not committed fornication or adultery. Remember, you/he/she made him/her/you a "subject for adultery." So, you will need to ask for forgiveness for that, as well. And it, too, will be granted. In the second instance, however, your ex has not remarried or been with anyone else. Does that complicate things? Not necessarily. Again, you need to ask for forgiveness. But here's the WONDERFUL thing in both cases (indeed, in the case of ALL sin, excluding blasphemy against the Holy Spirit):
Once you have been forgiven, YOUR SIN IS GONE! You are "washed clean!" It no longer remains.
Of course, someone will ask here, "Wait! Don't you have to 'repent and turn around,' etc.? Of course, you do, but NOT in the way the WTBTS and others teach. You repented when you went to God through Christ as ASKED for forgiveness. You ACKNOWLEDGED your error, apologized for it, and asked for mercy. You 'turn around' when you don't do it again! But doesn't that mean go back to the first spouse? No. If your adultery against the first spouse has been forgiven, you are now "free" to be with the next spouse. You 'turn around' by not playing that game again! Not committed adultery... again... with the next spouse! You are still considered, in God's eyes, a wife/husband of [more than one] husband/wife, but you will not have to "pay" for it.
Okay, so what if I've done it, say, 4-5 times? What if I am on my 6th wife/husband? Then you stop... right where you are... and ask for forgiveness for ALL of the times you have committed adultery BEFORE... and then you move forward from there! You don't go back and do the same thing again! You start your life anew from that point on... because it is from that point that you have been forgiven!
I offer two examples to help those who wish to “see” this: David and the Samaritan woman who spoke with my Lord by Jacob’s well. In the case of David, once he repented (i.e., acknowledged his error, apologized for it, then asked for forgiveness), he was forgiven. Did God tell him to leave Bathsheba and return to Michal? No. In fact, he even named their [second] child to be David’s heir (although David had other wives and children!). Regarding the woman at the well, she openly acknowledged that the current man she was with wasn’t even her husband (i.e., fornication) and when my Lord stated that she had had 5 husbands she did not deny it (adultery). Rather, he commended her FOR TELLING HIM THE TRUTH! AND… he didn’t tell her to go back to [one of] her husband[s], but told her to go get the man she was currently with and bring him!
Do you get it? Do you “see”? Love… does NOT keep account of the injury! Fornication and adultery are sins… against an innocent spouse AND against God. And, yet, through Christ, we can be forgiven, at least as regards the sin against God (it is up to spouse to forgive you on that end). Why? Because love… covers a MULTITUDE of transgressions. If Christ admonished us to forgive “up to seventy-seven times,” how much more can he, and the Most Holy One of Israel, JAH of Armies, forgive?
Finally, what of those who don't believe they have committed a sin… or those who don’t ask for forgiveness? Well, in the first case, since it's most likely such ones won't ask to be forgiven... they won't be... and so will have to "answer" for the error. In the second case, it’s pretty much the same: ask… and you SHALL receive. Don’t ask… and you most probably will receive nothing. I am sorry, I do not mean to be harsh, but truthful.
I bid you all peace.
A slave of Christ,
SA
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AGuest
Sorry, a duplicate post.
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AGuest
Sorry... old computer.
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wha happened?
I told my ex right away. U r free. However I didn't know that I was free for years. Oh well. Eventually things come out. And I was dating anyways so there :p
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MissingLink
I think this is good internal spiritual warfare. If your friend wasn't distracted by women (thinking he wasn't free to do so), then he would have more time to spend in the lord's work.
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Beachwalker
My ex had it sewn up. After he left he wrote me a letter stating that he'd cheated on me during our marriage. But all he did was deny, deny during our marriage!
His words were, " you now have your scriptual divorce". The ironic thing was I hadn't been to a meeting in about 5 years!!! I didn't care whether I had a scriptual divorce or not!!
Beachwalker
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LouBelle
well he is no longer a JW so so what. The past is in the past, time to move on.
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asilentone
LouBelle, he was a JW going to the K. Hall regularly while the elders kept a secret from him! He was disgusted at his elders after he found out that he is scripturally free to remarry, so he stopped going. If they did not keep a secret from him, he would probably be still in the borg.