The lie that forms the foundation of this entire argument starts with the words "people in general." What are they basing that on? Most of us have had good and bad experiences with people in and out of the organization but somehow I don't think they're including their own members as "people in general." And how can it be said that "worldly" friends are the betrayers when everyone knows that the first thing students are encouraged to do is to break off association their friends? Who is leaving whom?
Oct. 15th WT - WT Society Manipulation " Find True Friends Only in JW land"
by flipper 37 Replies latest jw friends
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kurtbethel
You are looking at a textbook case of projecting one's attributes onto others.
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wobble
I have found it difficult to get over 58 years of indoctrination about "worldly" people. I did not feel that I could really let my heart feel real affection for these people, I can relax and do so now.
My own experience has been that the "worldly" friends I have had for over 30 years are the true friends, they are surprised I have left the Cult ,I was a very well known street-preacher,( even before the Borg pushed it as a method),as well as D to D, and my attendance at Meetings was literally second to none, but those friends just continue to be great pals and do not judge or condemn.
My relatives who are in are distant and only see me when they have to, the old Congo members are still civil when we meet in a shop or wherever, but not friendly, no invites. (Not that I would want any)
What a load of evil crap that WT is, it will twist the minds of the young so that they stay controlled by the cult, sad.
Love
Wobble
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boyzone
. Shallow friendships are so much the norm in JWland that this article reads like a sick joke. True friendships are based on love and trust. Without these two qualities there is no deep friendship. So do JW's have this love and trust?
First lets take love. Agape love between JW friends is strictly conditional on both continuing as JW's, its got nothing to do with any personal faith or love of God. If a friend leaves the JW's but still maintains his love for God and lives a moral life, the JW friend is told to withdraw their friendship, if not cut off all contact altogether. So, no love there then.
What about trust? One important aspect of a deep friendship is the ability to confide in that friend when the need arises. A problem shared is a problem halved. So if that "friend" feels obligated to run to the elders with your confidences, how is that building trust? It doesn't, it actually builds the opposite - distrust. For who would really want to confide in a friend knowing that they'll tell the elders your intimate problems?
So what you end up with in the congregations is a whole bunch of people that say they love each other and say they are true friends, but in practice the whole thing is a sham.
I know full well what this does to people. Think about how this could play out.
You're told you have true friends in the congregation, nowhere else. So you rely on these true friends as you've cut off all your other worldly associates as advised and you have no others but them. But you know deep down you can't really rely on them, they'll rat you out if they had a chance, so you keep your more serious concerns to yourself. You don't talk through whats bothering you and you internalize your anxiety. You try to put on a front and that works for a while, but you can't maintain it. The anxiety builds and the problem seems huge. You get ill. You go to the doctor for anti-depressants or battle with an eating disorder or drink.
Depression gets the better of you and you start to slow down in your service and meeting attendance. You are perceived as "weak" by others and they're told it might be wise to keep their distance from you. Your "friend" tries to "speak consolingly to the depressed soul" but not really understanding the problem, can't help. Of course you daren't explain the problem because you know she has to go to the elders, and the last thing you need is a bunch of unqualified, unrelated men knowing your business and telling you how to feel.
Is it any wonder that so many JW's are on anti-depressants or seriously overweight? I knew quite a few in our congregation 2 years ago. I bet they still are on them, if not even more. One young sister drank herself to death aged 33. Her loneliness was the main cause.
This article is a wicked piece of propaganda that stifles JW's into a mentally unhealthy mind control.
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cantleave
Very interesting. I have not read the article myself yet and probably won't. But here's an interesting conversation I had with one of my" true" friends the other day.
A bit of background first. I have been missing lots of meetings recently and have asked to be relieved of assignments due to personal difficulties associated with a downturn in business. This has been quite noticable and compounded by the fact that I don't answer up in the way I used to.
A friend of mine thought he would encourage me by phoning up he started by saying something.
"I am sorry you are feeling the effects of the recession, I appreciate what you are going through, it must be hard." (Yep, state the obvious! But at least he appreciates the situation).
He then went on,
" I have known quite a few brothers who have had similar issues, they found that by relying on Jehovah things have turned out well in the end. In fact most of them found if they used the additional time they found to do more, some even auxillary pioneered they were blessed for their efforts."
(So rather than proactively looking for new clients, I should spend more time knocking doors looking for doorstep bible studies with the "Bible Teach" book and my problems will be solved. I must write a sales and marketing book based on that premise.)
It got even better then........
"Cantleave do you think doing less at the meetings and not demonstrating your faith by answering is the best approach to gaining Jehovah's favour and blessing? I think you should throw your burden on Jehovah and see how he blesses you"
(Yep practical wisdom from a true friend).
I have known this guy for 15 years. He only really befriended me about 6 years ago, when I was appointed an Elder. He is really critical of anyone who seems to be worldly in anyway, woe betide anyone who buys a new Car, a boat or who seems to be doing too much work or recreation. He can see that my priorities are changing, and is trying to get me to conform to his concept of what a "spiritual person" is. When I am seen not to be following his advise and give my letter of resignation in, do you think he will stand by me as a loyal, true friend? Hmmmmm.
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lepermessiah
During these last days , people in general are disloyal and fail to show natural affection. The friendships they do form are often shallow and self-serving .
They should have included the sentence "and nowhere else is this more evident than in congregations of Jehovah's Witnesses."
To keep our identity as true Christians, we must rise above such attitudes.
Yes - and sometimes to rise above, we need to get ourselves out of the environment that ingrains such attitudes!
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cameo-d
"During these last days , people in general are disloyal and fail to show natural affection."
Questions in the Box:
What is natural affection?
Is it the love a mother and father should have for their children?
Is it the love a child should have for parents?
Is it the love and exclusive devotion a husband and wife should have for each other?
What usurps these natural affections to cause their dissolution?
When is it right to allow interference within the family unit?
Who has the right to order families to forego and forget natural affection?
Can we show our loyalty to jehovah by destroying these natural affections?
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LouBelle
I can say I do not have any of those unshakable, truly loving JW Friends......
I'll stick to the ones I've made now thanks - they may be few but I know that they love me and will support me and be there for me no matter what.
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dutchstef
Cameo-d
You're so right!
