DO JWS REALLY WAIT TIL MARRIAGE???

by sweet 55 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  bluecanary

  Blue Grass, I agree with you wholeheartedly that the action was stupid. My point is that is the stupid way in which young JWs were groomed to act. Why do you assume I was an adult at the time? Most of the Dubs I know were under 20 when they made the same stupid decision. For a Dub there are generally two deciding factors in a mate: are they a JW and am I sexually attracted to them? Yes, it's 100% stupid. That's the way this group is, and that's the way I was raised to be. We weren't allowed to date like normal people so most of us were mentally/emotionally stunted when it came to choosing a mate.

  The comment, however, was true. If we had sex first, I wouldn't have married the creep. And if I wasn't in this ridiculous cult, I wouldn't have married the creep.

  WTL, in answer to your question: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/7414/1/WTS-SAYS-ELDERS-SINS-DONT-COUNT
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  PSacramento

  I think that by making sex such a huge issue, religions that "prohibit" sex in certain ways and only allow it under certain conditions (marriage for example) are just making things that more difficult for people and making them focus on what they CAN'T have as opposed to focusing on what they are getting.

  You can't focus on how loving someone is if you have never experienced physical loving with that person, you can't focus on how well a provider someone is if you don't know if they can provide you with love and intimacy.
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  ~Jen~

  My EX and I waited. However, I do regret it. If we had of slept together before we got married I never would have married him.
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  PSacramento

  When you don't have "sex" hanging over your head, pardon the pun, you are free to see the attributes that your potential partner has to offer, its just that simple.

  Now, does this mean we go out an play hide the salami with anyone?

  Of course not, what it does mean is that sex is put in its proper place, not as soemthign taboo or something so forbidden, but as something that is no more or no less as important than anythign else.
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  bluecanary

  When you don't have "sex" hanging over your head,

  Gonna have to put some thought into that one . . . .

  I totally agree with you, PS.
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  PSacramento

  Its really a "stage" thing and sex is just one of thsoe stages in a relationship to see if people are compatiable and if not, can they be.

  You date to see if you like the samethings, you date to see if you ahve the same beliefs, you date to see if you agree on the same lifestyle, etc, etc, to assume that sex will "take care of itself" when men and women are so different, boggles the mind.

  Thing is, people do have to be mature enough to understand that sex is still a big step in a relationship, think of it as the "icing on the cake" and people need to understand that it shoudl be "tested" when everything else seems compatiable, not the other way around.
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  sir82

  I think a lot do, but I also think we've reached the point where perhaps the majority do not.

  There seems to be a trend whereby a JW couple will do the horizontal mambo prior to the wedding day, get married, wait a year or 2, then confess as their "conscience gets to them". It seems that if they have kept their nose clean for those 1 or 2 years and been "good little JWs", it is more likely that they'll get off with reproof.
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  Jadeen

  I can think of three couples off the top of my head from my local congregation that waited until they were married. Then they found out that they weren't as sexually attracted to each other as they thought they were. They all got divorced, and most of them left the faith.
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  virgo

  My wife and I did. Hell, three days after the wedding I was still waiting. Needless to say I discovered that I was married to a JW prude and all kinds of restrictions placed on sex,eg. sex on alternate days. once a day only and very limited in scope etc. Still married after 32 years although the sexual aspect is still very unsatisfactory.

  My children however have all lived with their partners before marraige and are happy with their choices. This as probably the course I now advocate.
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  bluecanary

  virgo, I knew a lot of girls who did that to their husbands. Sex was so demonized for them they couldn't be comfortable doing it with their own husbands. Sadly, my ex was a once-a-month kind of guy.