My wife has a way with attracting low lifes as friends that envy our family lifestyle. I don't know what it is, but I had to tell her, if they make less money than us they can't be your friend. As for me I make friends with the people I work with and when I'm home its all about family time. I'm not to big on having friends.
Do you have many friends since leaving the bOrg?
by AK - Jeff 27 Replies latest jw friends
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LucyA
"instant friend network" isnt real if you have to do everything right to keep the friendship!
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AllTimeJeff
I am a loner, but I don't know if I would be now if I weren't a suckerfried JW all my life.
I want friends, but I have learned I don't make them naturally. Thats the bad thing. I had all sorts of forced, unnatural friendships, mostly with elders whom I never really got a chance to tell what I really thought of them.
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White Dove
After leaving the WTS religion and not having any quality friends there, I made connections in the "world" and have a lot of friends. They aren't the kind that are too close, and that is the way I like it. I can take them or leave them but always cherrish the memories and their friendship. They are the type that I can just be me and they have no criticising to do about it. It's great!
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dissed
"Hold your friends close, but your enemies closer"
Unfortunately, that's how I felt about the JW's in my congregation. They treated you like an enemy. Always tension, had to be careful what you said or did so as not to be judged. I have experienced many a congregation and see the same attitude in everyone. Any JW who says differently is lying.
Friends are loyal all the time, local JW's are not.
Our best friends were from outside our congregation. They were from all over the circuit, the country, and the world. But inside your local it was impossible to be close to anyone that treats people so poorly.
Now on the outside after leaving? Our family has become very close to us. Neighbors as well, we are always hosting some gathering for some reason, sharing a beer or two while watching a beautiful Arizona sunset. We are active in hobby clubs and plan to join a sailing one soon. (in Calif) Wife likes to volunteer in the local Hospice and take some art classes.
We are very content with our friends and have loved adding our newfound friends here.
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Hiding Questioner
I can't say I left the bOrg...it's more like the bOrg left me! When it left me years ago it took away 1/2 of my extended (through previous marriage) JW family and so-called JW friends. However, I am very fortunate to be in a very people interactive and people engaging occupation. So, over the years in business I have been able to accumulate wonderful people throughout the US as true friends. And, contrary to my "worldly" friends, who have helped me often (unconditionally) when I needed help, I have learned through gut-renching experiences that, when times are difficult and you need friends the most, it's then that your JW "friends" will be unbelievably quick to abandon you, do nothing, sit back and watch you "sink". So much for a "brotherhood".
HQ
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Nellie
Ok, I'll be the first to say - Yes, I miss them (with a caveat). I don't miss the fake meeting smiles and hugs from people that I only saw on meeting days. After all, if we really liked each other, we'd get together personally outside of the meetings (or at least call). But I do miss the close friends that I had from childhood. I miss sharing time with people who knew me . . . forever! We can't play the "remember when" game. My hubbie has that - his 2 closest friends are still in his life (1 is still in and 1 is out). I have friends now - women I admire and trust - but it's not the same - we lack history!
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undercover
My wife has a way with attracting low lifes as friends that envy our family lifestyle. I don't know what it is, but I had to tell her, if they make less money than us they can't be your friend.
I understand what your trying to say, I've been there...but using income as your sole basis for determining if someone is worthy of your friendship is snobbish. I guess you shouldn't expect anyone who makes more money than you to ever stoop to being your friend, right?
There are low lifes in all income brackets. There are decent people in all income brackets. You have to judge people based on their actions and words, not on how much money they have.
Of the few real friends that I have made outside the JWs, one is very well-off but a down to earth kind of guy...another works in a restaurant as a server and is always struggling. Both guys are good people and I never think of their income when we get together as friends. We became friends because of our mutual interests and personalities meshing well, not because we all make the same income. I happen to have acquaintances who are "low-lifes" as well. I limited my relationship with them though. I like em to a point but not to the point where I want their influences in my life too much. It's not the money they make that determines that, it's the bad habits and illegal pursuits that I don't want a part of on a daily basis.