Wow Flipper you seriously touched my heart. I had a tear... It's so scaring at times and also exciting to feel free from the burden I have carried... thinking I was going to die or be destroyed and live life miserable or in guilt for not being a JW. The stress I put on my fiance and fear I was going to stress him to the point of irritation. I'm still a lil scared and my journey at times of more research is like one made in the woods all alone it feels like at times (Snow White I can think of). You don' t want to be naive, gullible...(believe every inspired word) but when you are taught all your life you can't do it all on your own it's scary! I don't want to get lost in the woods and be at a dead end or even be so far or thick in the woods there is no way to find your way back. That is exactly how I feel. I love the security or safe haven they gave me but it also felt like a trap. I do relate it to the Village movie they give you walls and fear to cross the forest. I now just have faith in myself to find what God wants from me and joy in my family I made (really my fiance's family). JW ideas are still in that back of my head permanently and the want or 'high' of doing good for others 'changing the world for the good' is so strong... I hope I can find that book and hope they don't just state facts but give good direction (books to read (or I could just ask you guys lol) ) or suggestions if possible of a good life and afterwords. Thanks again so much for that posting. I loved the JWs and I wanted to get back in so bad in it, it hurt me so badly when they gave up on me. I held them too high.
You guys on this board are the best. You saved my dignity in a sense.
Thank allot for that! :)