Ouch! That-hurts...
An Elder wrote anomously...
by Butterflyleia85 81 Replies latest jw friends
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daniel-p
Stop being stupid and amateurish; unless you are a professional comedian, you are not funny. Stay away from satire or parody if you don’t understand how to present them properly. Don’t create videos or write on your blog after you’ve just finished off a six-pack or a joint. Get rid of the stupid baseball cap and shave if you are going to appear in your own videos. Speak and write clearly in acceptable English; lose the slang and profanity. You do not help your cause by becoming a stumbling block to the very people you are trying to reach because of your obnoxious use of language and bad behavior.
Quite a tirade... but a little shrill and very self-righteous. What do you think will turn off people more, cursing or arrogance? The former is superficial and is a stylistic choice (even if it indicates a lazy or vulgar "style"), but the latter reveals the very core of a person, their disdain for others.
The real reason you are still self-righteous is because, as JWs, we learned how these surface qualities made us better than others; that by not swearing, dressing nicely, and being clean-cut, we gave glory to Jehovah, and were therefore superior to others. But you know what? It was not real. What it really did was re-enforce conformity and provide a pretext for controlling others. As an elder, surely you had/have a hand in enforcing these superficial rules in order to preserve that conformity.
Let me ask you this: Did Jesus ever turn his nose up at anyone because of their dress, speech, or manner? Of course he didn't.
And yet, the GB has trained JWs worldwide to do such a thing, encouraging the idea that those things really matter in the eyes of God. In the end, so much emphasis on those outward mannersisms only distracts from the more important things, the truly Christ-like qualities that you should be developing. Of course, being an elder, you have likely spent MUCH more time admonishing others from the platform than admonishing yourself.
I wonder, is it a good thing if a person realizes the truth about the "Truth," if they still believe they are more special than others and act like a complete ass?
Basically, you should stop thinking you're the first one to introduce these pearls of wisdom. JWD is full of highly intelligent, cogent, thoughtful, and kind people who have contributed way more than you ever will. You haven't "figured it all out," you've just scratched the surface of the Truth, and more importantly, you haven't even turned inward yet. That's when things really start to fall apart.
You're not the first elder to leave the witnesses, and you sure as hell won't be the last. You're just one of many, and our individual stories are really not all that important. What's important is our ability to help others and our ability to healthily redefine our identities after losing our faith, to make it to the other side. You haven't made it anywhere yet. Your world is starting to crack apart, and you don't trust anyone. As a means to protect yourself and reaffirm that you still have your center, you condemn those who've left before you and found another path. This is because it's still too dangerous for you to consider a totally different paradigm.
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daniel-p
There is no perfect way to discuss JW's. The very nature of the JW membership ensures that damaged people will either join and leave, or be born in and leave. No one exits unscathed, which is why I think it unrealistic to put his opinion the way he did. (very unsympathetic) I don't disagree (again, in theory) with him, but realistically, it isn't going to change. I doubt it is even possible. And that is fine. If someone wants to look like a dope dealer on a Youtube video, at least I know they are WAY more authentic then others. I do the best I can to judge people by the content of their character and their posted opinions.... How they look isn't important to me. Thats an old JW mindset. (i.e. don't trust them, they don't look right. See, his hair is long, thats all you need to know....)
Jeff, basically, he is making the arrogant assumption that every apostate site is for him. If it doesn't speak to him, if it doesn't appeal to his sensibilities, it must be flawed. Yep, a typical, young, ASS of an elder. The real issue here is, as you say, authenticity. But of course, JWs make an artform out of ignoring their true selves, so how could we expect otherwise.
What's really going to be fun for him, is when he gets out in the real world and realizes no one cares who he is or what he thinks anymore, and that any semblance of authority he had in the congregation is a laughing stock. Of course, he could stay in, but as you say, staying in while knowing the real truth is a nightmare.
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AllTimeJeff
daniel-p
I don't begrudge "Shadow Elder" his feelings. Frankly, I was a real jackass as a borgbot. (or more of one then I am now?) With age and experience, yes I changed, but I can't sit here and say that I in my more immature incarnation that I didn't feel similarly....
The problem is, imo, that we have been indoctrinated with this worldview. Even if you are aware that the GB is lying and wrong, and you want to change that, there is a ton of residual bullshit to work through.
Just like I don't get upset at former JW's who sometimes go overboard, I am not going to get upset at a JW trying to see their way out.
His view will change. I said what I said in the hopes of giving him something to think about. What he does with it is entirely up to him....
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SirNose586
I don't like Shadow Elder's judgmentalism, but since he's on the way out, it'll all come out in the wash.
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BabaYaga
Thank you, Juan, for registering and adding a bit more history. It is greatly appreciated... as is the original writing by "Shadow Elder".
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diamondiiz
There are a couple things that this elder has it wrong, one of them is that thinks he is a witness of Jehovah. For one, I don't know when God asked him to be his witness? Just because wts choose to be someone's witness doesn't make it so other than by name alone - imaginary title. By believing that wts are actual witnesses for God this elders imagines that the organization is God's people here on earth and that by some miracle God or Christ will cleans wts to fix the wrongs. Ummm the wrongs haven't been corrected from the start and they keep growing, this elder should realize that wts is just another religion and has no backing by God's spirit any more than Catholic Church. As for watchtower followers trying to be serving God, true enough, but is he saying that many millions of other sincere religious people aren't trying to serve their god in a like manner? I mean most sincere worshippers try to do as they think is right and proper which doesn't make them any better or worse than wts followers. Now, as for some of us that may write in a style that isn't wts friendly, or somewhat hateful well maybe he should step forward and let his congregation know exactly what he believes and once his family and friends shun him, he can maybe educate us on how lovingly we should speak of the wts and be less hateful! Don't hide your true self and try to tell others not to be hateful when some have been hurt so badly by this fucking cult who detroyed their families and friendships because they claim they deserve total obediance of the masses. I haven't lost as much as many others but this elder has no clue how much some have been hurt and how many have felt when they were punished for knowing the truth about the troof, maybe he should step forward and be a man not some coward hiding in a shadow!
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Scott77
I like this letter with all the points well presented. However, my gut tells me that AllTimeJeff and Butterflyleia85 are one person. Why I say so? please, examine closely his writing style within the same thread and compare it with the main thread article. Are they not the same? He is trying to advance his positive agenda without pointing figures at anyone. By and large, he has accompolished his goal of stiring up positive thinking directed to both JWs and Ex-JWs. To me, its like hitting the proverbial two birds with one stone. . Jeff, please hold your your breath. This is my understanding. No offense intended. I know you are a good guy with a big heart.
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StAnn
I just read this and I must say, I have to agree with Shadow Elder. All of us have spent years reading the WT and Awake, which as we know is equivalent to a four-year college education. Thus, there is no excuse for us not to use perfect spelling and grammar, as do the writers of the WTS literature.
(This is some of the really bad satire I'm not supposed to post because I'm not a professional comedian. See Shadow Elder's complaints above.)
StAnn
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freydo
For somebody trying to be anomous (is that a new word?) he doesn't act like it. How long do you think it would take the wtbt$ snoops to finger somebody in the NY area and volunteering that, "I am in my early 50s, married, with four adult sons. My wife and I own our home and I drive an older four-door Japanese sedan – a perfect car to use for field service. I work as a manager for a national company connected to the food services industry."? Maybe he's from Iowa.