help friends urgently needed

yellow

ive had doubts for years had my mind opened and over the past year have decided enough is enough. sick of the lies and double standards No longer believing in what ive been told cant even step into a kingdumb hall i just feel like screaming ive decided to d/a, best decision ive ever made a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders no more pretending to others finally free. The announcement is being made this week. Whats making me nervous is a telephone call I had from a sis, told her what I was doing and she immediately dropped the phone like a hot potato went on about how we wouldn't be able to talk bla bla bla. I am convinced that my decision is right took me a while reaching this point. I just cant understand the mentality of these people. One bro showed a distinct hatred for me when I told him. The shunning begins

magoo

yellow....welcome to reality & the board...stay long, learn a lot...

magoo

finding my way

Yellow,

I wasn't Da'd but rather I decided to not attempt to be reinstated after 3 years of being disfellowshipped. I just couldn't understand why I wasn't ready to request reinstatement even though brothers had even hinted to me that I could write a letter at any time. I was lost and last year I finally decided "enough is enough" and I started seriously evaluating my spirituality and doing research of the religion I was raised in. I figured I would get to the bottom of why I was such a bad sinner that deserved disfellowshipping. What I found rather, was that I wasn't so bad after all. I finally allowed myself to feel angry over the whole thing. To aknowledge that I felt abandoned by my so called shepherds. I finally began to believe that I was worthy of God's love and that no man could take that away from me and tell me I wasn't good enough.

It's funny how you can't understand their thinking all of a sudden. I had defended the beliefs up to 3 years after I was disfellowshipped until I realized it just wasn't right. Now I can't imagine how I actually used to think that way too.

When I was disfellowshipped, one of my best friends (or so I thought) wrote me a letter to tell me that she loved me but for now she will have to think of me as dead. This hurt, but silly me thought she was right at the time. I thought I was dead to God, until I figured out a way to fix my evil ways.. which I find not so evil anymore.

I'm glad for you that you already have come to the decision that you have before the shunning. I think it will make your recovery shorter perhaps..

It's hard though, I'm still "finding my way" but from what I've been reading on this site the last few days, I think it's a great place to come share your thoughts and find support.

Happy healing

~fmy

no more kool aid

Welcome Yellow and finding my way. You have many friends here.

flipper

YELLOW- Welcome to the board. I'd be happy to be your friend. I know how difficult it can be newly exiting the witnesses and being shunned. It is not easy. I'll PM you some of my info. Look forward to hearing more from you

kitten whiskers

Welcome Yellow!

Losing your religion is one of the most traumatic things ever. Losing all those you loved, is heart-wrenching. Welcome to the board and know you have found friends! It is a wonderful thing to know you are not alone!

bluecanary

Welcome finding my way.

Black Sheep

Welcome to the forum yellow & FMW.

Yellow, you don't have to DA. You have already seen how they react. Just drift out without the DA, especially if you have close family in. Meanwhile, make yourself some new friends.

Join clubs and/or volunteer groups. Anything that will get you rubbing shoulders with 'normal' people.

Try this book. It should be available at your local library.

Take Back Your L i fe: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships.

Or the previous edition, Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: freedom and recovery from cults and abusive relationships.

by Madeleine Landau Tobias & Janja Lalich

There is some discussion of them in these threads.

Cheers Chris

Butterflyleia85

I understand the hurt shunning gives. Men take it alil different I think, lil anger and pride, hope I understand correctly but it still hurts. Just keep in mind that is what they think is right and they are doing in because they were taught it was from God and they are doing God's will over man 'weak' thinking.

Many ppl on this JehovahsWitness.net (JWN) will give you support and understand! Hang in there buddy, your not alone. Welcome aboard.

yknot

To both Yellow and Finding my Way.......

Just sending both of yall some hugs!

help friends urgently needed

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