New here

by goldensky 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • goldensky
    goldensky

    Dear all,

    I discovered this site only a couple of weeks ago and I already feel affection for you.

    I am a 48-year-old woman and I live in Spain, where I was born and raised, so I apologize in advance for my inevitable lack of style and possible grammar mistakes, due to English not being my native tongue.

    I grew up in the truth and Jehovah and the congregation have filled my whole life. I've had little contact with the outside world. A fully devoted Witness from infancy, I only have warm feelings of love for all the brothers and sisters I've met throughout my life in different countries, the U.S.A. being one of them. I enjoyed meetings and assemblies so much that my sister, a faithful Witness herself, often teased me lovingly about my enthusiasm. How often we went out in service together! I was always her spiritual mentor whom she looked up to, her theocratic big sister deeply rooted in the truth.

    But about two years ago I began to have serious doubts. Without having read anything a Witness is not supposed to read, my logical mind was awakening all by itself and there was nothing I could do to reverse the process. I couldn't believe that was happening to me. I prayed to Jehovah incessantly to remove my doubts and I maintained all aspects of my spiritual routine, but all to no avail: my doubts only grew to an uncomfortable intensity. One thing that greatly sustained me during the process was sensing that at least I was contributing to upbuild the faith of my brothers and sisters, since I never shared any of my doubts with them. I figured while I waited on Jehovah to restore my faith (although I couldn't figure out why He was taking so long), I might as well do something for other people's faith. Until the day came last June when I felt for the first time I would see myself as a hypocrite if I continued to represent what I didn't believe any longer, even if I was doing it for other people's sake. So I telephoned the presiding overseer, somebody worthy of all my admiration and respect, and I asked him to please tell all the elders at their next meeting I had been as happy as a person can possibly be under their loving care, but I wouldn't be attending the Hall again. I added it was a firm decision, together with the determination to keep my reasons to myself. He was very respectful and accepted what I said without any further questions.

    Overnight I went from being a 100% active publisher, somebody the elders could always count on for last-minute subjects and demonstrations on the platform and comments when nobody else put their hand up, to disappearing without a trail. I know all the brothers are shocked and very sad, because they know how much I've always loved Jehovah, the congregation and all its members. They can't figure out what has led me to this decision, since I always looked convinced and full of holy spirit, always in a good mood, all smiles and ready to work hard for the congregation. I always received lots of love from them all, alhough it's true I'm a loving person, and you usually get what you give, inside and outside the congregation. But I can't help feeling very sorry to have upset them. I wish there was something I could do to make them feel better, but I don't think there is.

    I still love Jehovah very, very much, although I'm not even sure whether he exists of not. Weird, isn't it? For the moment, I tend to believe more in a Creator than in natural selection, for example, although I'm open to virtually any possibility now. I can't help feeling very grateful for whoever put me here and permits me to enjoy so many pleasurable moments every day.

    Surprisingly, my transition has been quick and smooth. Well, there have been moments in July when I felt a knot in my stomach for a few minutes, but I soon managed to get over it. The three convention days where bad though: it was the first convention I ever missed and I felt lonely and downhearted. But apart from that I have retrieved my original inner happiness. I was extremely happy as an active Witness and I am extremely happy now that I can doubt, question and research without feeling unfaithful. I feel almost literally I've grown wings in my mind and heart. What a breathtaking new perspective on life I enjoy nowadays!

    Coming across you very recently by sheer chance has been such a discovery! I was fascinated when I found out hundreds of Witnesses and ex-Witnesses have had the same doubts as me, some of you long before me. Some of you are highly intelligent and I thoroughly enjoy reading your convincing reasoning, whereas some others are really witty and humorous and make me laugh a lot. Unfortunately some of you use vulgar speech that makes me cringe. Your English language offers such a wide variety of expressive, yet elegant words! Why not use those instead? Then it would be much more pleasant to read what you have to say, and far more heart-reaching (have I just made up this word? Ha, ha!). But I am nobody to tell others how they ought to express themselves. It's just that I'm particularly sensitive to the beauty and power of words.

    Anyway, it's been a pleasure to contact you. I genuinely wish each one of you as much happiness as you can manage to enjoy. Best wishes.

  • isaacaustin
    isaacaustin

    Goldensky, welcome and thanks for sharing. You sound like a wonderful person. We look forward to getting to know you.

    IA

  • quietlyleaving
    quietlyleaving

    hi goldensky welcome to JWN

    its a pleasure to read what you have written

    ql

  • wantstoleave
    wantstoleave

    Welcome! You sound wonderful!

    How did your family take your decision? Were you DA then? And does your family try to urge you to come back?

  • DaCheech
    DaCheech

    welcome to the board.

    i miss the european kind of love families and friends have.

    in america people are not used to having 10-30 people sharing meals and rejoicing together.

    and don't worry my grammar sucks too

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Welcome.

    If you ever had worries about your grasp of the English language, please put them to rest. Beautifully written and expressed.

    I think you had an interestingly fast epiphany. I had my realization at 48 also. Mine was long coming though. I had not been truly happy as a jw for a lnog time, seeing through the hypocricy lead me to investigate.

    Your joy and love of life is wonderful. It will take you far as you discover a world outside of jwism.

    Be aware though, that although your PO was pleasant at your call, it is unlikely the elders will just leave it at that. Expect that call or visit to 'encourage' you. If you are ok with whatever happens as a result, no worry. If you want to maintain your 'inactive' status for the sake of family and not be disassociated or disfellowshipped, then you may wish to think through how to handle that meeting with elders, for it will most assuredly happen in time.

    In the meantime, so glad to have you here, and I look forward to your contributions on this board.

    Peace/Namaste

    Jeff

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Hi goldensky, welcome to the forum.

    It is nice to hear that you have found your wings.

    Cheers

    Chris

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I am so happy for you and that you have retained your joy of life. In your immediate family, is it only your sister? Is she talking with you? I hope that the elders don't pursue you for another meeting with you. They could (if they haven't already) very well announce to the congregation that you no longer want to be a JW and then they will shun you. Keeping your inner peace and being true to yourself is most important.

    So many best wishes in your 'free' life now!

  • Chalam
    Chalam

    Hi goldensky and welcome!

    Great post!

    I prayed to Jehovah incessantly to remove my doubts and I maintained all aspects of my spiritual routine, but all to no avail: my doubts only grew to an uncomfortable intensity.

    I feel you prayers were answered, but obviously not as you expected :)

    I still love Jehovah very, very much, although I'm not even sure whether he exists of not. Weird, isn't it? For the moment, I tend to believe more in a Creator than in natural selection, for example, although I'm open to virtually any possibility now. I can't help feeling very grateful for whoever put me here and permits me to enjoy so many pleasurable moments every day.

    Amen! There are lots of possibilities present on this board but don't give up in God, just be open to who He actually is and what He is like. Pray, get a new bible and see what He says :)

    Unfortunately some of you use vulgar speech that makes me cringe. Your English language offers such a wide variety of expressive, yet elegant words! Why not use those instead?

    Agreed. However, keep this in mind

    Proverbs 19:11 (New International Version)

    11 A man's wisdom gives him patience;
    it is to his glory to overlook an offense.

    Blessings, Stephen

  • Phee
    Phee

    Goldensky,

    Thankyou for sharing your story. It is interesting when this 'epiphany' occurs. Whether you're in or outside the organization even! I had been out for over 10 years before I decided that it wasn't the truth!

    You seem like a strong and beautiful person and I hope that you find all of the peace and comfort you seek. Welcome to the board!

    Love,

    Phee

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