by GapingMouth 66 Replies latest jw friends
A certain know-it-all brother who knew it all because he went to a semester of community college before he decided it was hurting his spirituality.
"I almost feel bad for evolutionists who feel the earth came from nothing when we know that God created it from nothing."
I remember laughing at this comment and no one knew why.
Not so funny, but shows the thought process of of a JW: not long ago one sister said something that involved the generation, according to "old light", the wicked generation. So the elder said "Erm... that was corrected... new light came, and the generation are the annointed." So the sister said "Oh..." paused for a second, then continued with her point (that was not related closely to the generation). The parallel to Orwel's 1984 was striking at that moment... one moment the people were hating Eurasia, then the "new light" came: Oceania is in war with East Asia. In seconds, everyone readjusted their thinking, and hated East Asia, they were always friends with Eurasia.
There was a recording being passed around a couple of years ago of a brother giving a District Convention talk in Illinois about the "wondrous creations of Jehovah." There was something about the giant squid and the brother said testicles in place of tentacles throughout the talk (he has 10 large testicles and can reach lengths up to 46 feet from the caudal fin to the longest two testicles, etc). It was a manuscript talk at that.
Former elder commented at the WT study how loving it was for Jehovah to arrange for the public and private edition of the Watchtower magazine as he was always placing his study issue.
I kid you not.
I think the talk scheduler in my hall had a sense of humour. Several times someone named Brother™ Chitty came to give a public talk. Every time Brother™ Chitty came to give a talk Hans, an elder with a heavy German accent, was assigned to be chairman. It was fun to hear the entire congregation snickering as Hans introduced Brother™ Chitty as "Brother™ Shitty".
W
This comment was not made at a meeting and it was like those comments JWs make about a particular house being theirs after Armageddon.
This brother was of the anointed. His job was selling pet supplies. One of his clients was a ranch. One day he told me that after Armageddon that ranch would be his. Strange (and stupid) comment from someone who should be expecting to go to Heaven.
villabolo
A sister told me about this brother who gave a talk at her hall and related the bible story about Balaam and his donkey. He kept on saying, "And he beat his ass." lol
Another one (not so much stupid, but funny as hell) was when a CO called my congregation a "whorehouse" and how without Jehovah's holy spirit the congregation would be like a "bitch in heat". lmao
The answer was supposed to be Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnego. --- The answer given by a child, "I shack, You shack, and Away we go!!!
This brother was of the anointed. His job was selling pet supplies. One of his clients was a ranch. One day he told me that after Armageddon that ranch would be his.
Looks like he never read his bible :(
Isaiah 65
17 "Behold, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
21 They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.
22 No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
the works of their hands.
Strange (and stupid) comment from someone who should be expecting to go to Heaven
Agreed! Kind of sums up the false belief and false hope that he wasn't even hoping for.
All the best,
Stephen
One brother was known for butchering the English language. One day he was commenting on the seven bowels of Jehovahs anger that was poured out. Another time he pronounced hyperbole as hyper-bowls.
The female circumcision article a few years back brought lots of answers that were worthy of a loud outburst of laughter
