by minimus 16 Replies latest jw friends
I find it more difficult to be genuinely helpful by my words when condolences are in order. When I was a JW, I'd give people the "ressurection hope" and feel I could give a measure of solace. Now, I feel inadequate when offering my thoughts.
What do you say when a dear loved one passes away?
I say what most posters here say to each other, because it's true and I have no other help to give them: How heartbreaking! I'm so sorry for your loss
It's how I feel because my heart does break for them and I do get real tears for them.
You are right, Min. When we were dubs it was easy to offer condolence and hope...That is hope that we now know was based on a false promise of the earthly resurrection..
Now, it is harder to find the words. But the words that we do find, and the ones given by posters from time to time, are at least genuine and sincere . I have not had to receive them, but the varied responses and sometimes briefer sentiments, would mean a lot to me if I am ever in that situation.
We give no "hope". Before, we did.
Minimus we gave FALSE hope.....you may as well tell them their loved one is now in a better place....Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
Instead of dwelling on the death, why not celebrate the persons life
"Stay strong" and "You're in my thoughts." You have to realize that nothing you can say will help their loss. All you can do is empathize with them. That's worth a lot more than a JW insulting someone by spouting insensitive nonsensical fairy tales.
I will admit that the worst thing were the funeral talks. Almost nothing was said about the deceased, just the
Hope".
The last JW funeral I went to was one of my aunt's. Not walking out took everything I had. It was like cheap late night infomercial. A total of two sentences were said about my aunt personally, and they had to do with her activity in the congregation. I was furious.
So hard to say something to help the hurt.
This tune helped me to deal with the harsh reality of death:
