Newly fading and having morbid thoughts about dying....is that normal?!

by 2pink 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  2pink

  i have been having doubts for years about the org, but it's mostly been just the past couple of months that it's really all unravelled for me. i'm at that stage now where i don't know what i believe about anything...esp about what happens when you die.

  and maybe it's just cause i never had to think about death before (was always countin' on that resurrection in paradise earth!), but lately i can't stop thinking about it! part of me wonders if it is also because death and destruction are main highlights of the Thrill Kill Cult....are these thoughts stuck in my head bcs of that?!

  has anyone else experienced this?? when does it stop?? i'm having terrible nightmares at night about it. i think i'm mostly all worked up bcs i have 2 little girls...and not having that "guarantee" that i'll see them again if something bad should happen to me/them is totally freaking me out.

  i mean, people who were never JW don't walk around all day thinking that death could be around the next corner....they just live. how do i get to that stage?!

  thanks for reading!
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  TheClarinetist

  Its not unheard of, but it might be a good idea to see a therapist. I've been having similar problems myself for quite sometime now, and even made a thread about it (though I focused mainly on my nightmares...).
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  mouthy

  I too think that a counselor might be a good idea.
  When we have been undersuch mind control ,it is
  so hard to get it out of our brain.I saw one after
  I started all the nightmares etc.after leaving.
  when I felt so low, I played nice music on the radio,
  forced my self to sing along,( I bet the neighbours thought of killing me LOL)

  I think your depressed do get help my love ((((HUG))))

  http://exjw.weebly.com
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  villabolo

  2pink, don't be worried or fixated about death. Instead focus on your life without JWs and what you're going to do. If you still cannot stop thinking about death go to a psychiatrist and get prescription medicine for your obsessive thoughts. A therapist would also be advisable but only in conjunction with a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist is the most important of the two.

  villabolo
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  jamiebowers

  I have to agree wth the others about the necessity of counseling. No one know for sure what happens after death, because they're not dead! The further away you are from cult mind control, the easier it is to accept the fact that no one has all the answers. With that mindset, your views will change and grow, and that's a good thing!
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  Balsam

  Before leaving the witness, I lost my mother and son who were both JW's. I lost my Dad who was not a witness. After losing my son I realized that no one can ever hurt me again more than I'd already suffered. I was totally unafraid of death before I lost my son to death, because I realized also that the whole idea of living and dying really was beyond all control of any religious belief.

  Live each day embracing all life brings your way even stuff you might see as negative. We are living, breathing, emotional being and life is exciting and we should embrace everyting about it. We live and we die sooner or later it is a fact of life. We don't have to know or be absolutely certain of death, just see it as a passage to something new. Even if we look at it as a atheist does that life just ends, we should know that what we experienced while alive was remarkable and embraced fully.

  Ruth
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  I discovered

  2pink

  I have the same feelings now. Know that you are not alone. I have been seeing a counselor it does help to talk about it.

  You might want to give it a try. Some days are better than others.

  Hang in there
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  diamondiiz

  I think about not dying but coming to realization that I will die. It had to do with wts programming that kept on repeating telling us that we won't die. Coming to realize that wts is full of shit and as reality sets in that we are mortal like all the rest of humanity and coming to realization that our time is ticking away is sad. Those who never been in wts don't know the feeling because they haven't spend that much time pondering how close they "were" to living eternally and that's a big negative crap that wts feeds it's flock. And maybe that's what you're experiencing as well. Somethings take time to get out of our system, enjoy your life, look forward to aging like the rest and make the best of it.
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  wanderlustguy

  You're right about never having to think about it before. We were taught to not worry about that. As you learn more and more you will find yourself fixated on many things we were not taught about. Finances, career planning, relationships, life and death will all have new meanings to you as you grow mentally.

  There are as many opinions on these subjects as there are people, but reality is death is part of life. Based on facts we know nothing ever goes away, it only changes.

  What that means to you may be something you just don't know yet, which could be why you're focused on it at the moment. Once you come to grips with YOUR view, you will likely move on to something else.

  WLG
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  life is to short

  I think it is normal to feel this way. I have the same feelings. I am seeing a counselor and it does help. One thing I have learned is that Jehovah Witness are stunted in their thinking. They have this thought that they are special and will not die and the longer this system is going on the more depressed the ones in their 40's, 50's and up are becoming because they are having to face the fact that they too will die just like everyone else will that God is not going to just let them live forever like they were taught. They are no more special than anyone else. It is hard when we were told we would not finish school, we would not have children and then when we did indeed have children that our children would not finish school now we are grandparents. It is really sad when you think of the brain washing that we have been under. No wonder we have morbid thoughts about dying, and yes I think it is normal coming from where we have.