Free Couples Counseling?

by SeekingSanity 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • SeekingSanity
    SeekingSanity

    I'm in a relationship with a great girl...i'm so blesed with her. She calls me, cares...loves..never argues...always able to communicate. She is amazing. We rarely fight or disagree. But i'm freakng out. My ex hurt me REALLY bad. And Now that I have this amazing girl in my life...i feel like i'm going to push her away because of what my ex did to me.

    I trusted my ex a lot...and she cheated on me. And it shattered my trust. Now I am in a relationship with such a GREAT girl that I can't find myself trusting her. I question her...and i panic and freak out in my head. I freak out so much if something seems out of place. She wants to have guy friends, and i said 'ok' ...(reluctantly) and...i'm freaking out everytime something little seems off...like she doesn't call me or doesn't do something. But she always explains what happened. She is extremely HONEST with me...she'll tell me things even I don't want to hear. Very lovingly. She'll confess embarssing things that normally a dishonest person would hide. She is extremely beautiful and gorgeous in her heart. Inmy dreams, she has golden hair (representing honor?). but everytime something small happens...It's like i'm FREAKING out in my head wondering 'she hasnt' called me, she's texting other guys...she's talking to her ex' etc.. I need help. People keep saying 'You have to trust her' ...and I know that's true. But telling me ride the bike isn't going to help me balance myself on it. I need HELP. Please.

    I don't know where to turn. I feel like i'm loosing faith in our relationship because of the fact that she's going to get tired of me. I need help. I'm desperate. I really want help. I really do care for her and we both want to work this relationship out. I've tried doing research online for Free couples counseling ...or ANYTHING that will help with this situation. I really am seeking help on this form now...Can anyone...please help me find some sort of free relationship counseling that I may be able to go in myself by myself and get help. I'm not interestd in finding out WHY i'm so insecure and upset...i know why. I've been hurt in the past....I feel like i'm going to clutch her so much ...that she's going to leave because of the insecurity I'm having with her leaving me. I feel as though she's going to leave because of the insecurity of her leaving. Like I'm going to sufficate her and rob her of the freedom. I don't know what to do..i'm so panicing. Is there anyone kindenough to help save my relationship with this amazing girl? I've tried talking to her, and she understand why...but we both don't know HOW to fix this...we both want couples counseling...but i would like to do it alone, that way, i can say everything without feeling like ...she might see too much ugliness inmy heart and want to leave. I really want to clean myself ...and the inside from pain and ugliness...and i'm trying...but i'm ....i don't know what to do... Please is there anyone that can help find me counseling..free counseling...cause i'm broke.

    My previous relationship was years ago, and though i'm not healed from it, i fear that it may never heal. This girl is amazing...first real relatipnship in YEARS. The response 'You're not ready for relationship' ...is not what I want to hear right now, primarily because of my girlfriend. of all my relatinships in the past, she is the most amazing one. The one i've been more affectionate with. Most tender, most, loving, most caring, most everything. I feel SO MUCH for her and I'm really TRUELY happy when I'm with her. She's also VERY happy with me. But my insecurities are REALLY getting in the way ...every so often... i feel like i'm CONSTANTLY looking for reasons to catch her cheating on me or something, even though i know it's an irrational fear. .......please anyone...i've never metanyone like her...and this is the best relationship i've ever had....i really don't want to push her away because of my insecurities.

    I need counseling in Los angeles area. Anyone..

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    IMHO I would suggest finding counseling for yourself before you launch into couples counseling cuz it sounds like you have dhe issues not her.

  • SeekingSanity
    SeekingSanity

    Yes. I am looking for counseling for myself. i am the one with the problem. Thank you for your advice. Yes i did mention tha tabove, that it's for me. i guess 'couples counseling' wasn't what i meant but rather 'Relationship counseling' or something to that effect.

    Thank you anyhow.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I wasn't trying to be flippant. Take of yourself first then if needs be move on the couples counseling. I really think it's too soon for the later. But what would I know, I've only been married for 16 years.

  • SeekingSanity
    SeekingSanity

    Mrs. Jones. Please don't misundersatnd my words. i was agreeing with you. I was not giving you any attitude, but rather agreeing with you with a sad face and extremely depressed state of mind. I agree with you. Please don't misundersatnd my words. I'm not giving you attitude at ALL. I'm just desperate right now, i'm lookng fo rsmeone to help me find counseling because i'm having such a hard time findng it on the net. Please understand I meant no disrespect.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    OK, none taken. You seem like a really nice guy. Just slow down and take care of yourself first. Your incentive should be to be the best you can be for your lady love. Yes?

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    I so agree with Mrs. Jones.

    Take care of yourself, get some counseling and let you loving girl know, your doing it to be a better man... because she deserves having all of you complete.

    Best wishes seekingsanity.

  • betterdaze
    betterdaze

    Welcome, SeekingSanity.

    My area has a "211" service with a whole bunch of resources. Yours does too:

    http://www.infoline-la.org/

    They also had a link to here:

    http://www.healthycity.org/

    Best regards,

    ~Sue

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    Hey! I just saw this thread of your's and realize that you are in SoCal. Somehow I thought you were in UK - and I don't know why...

    Anyway, I'm in Ventura County but have a good referral for you in San Fernando Valley if you are still interested. Someone very good with interpersonal relationships and she has a lot of JW and ex-JW clients.

    Let me know if you want her contact info.

    -Aude.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    I am not sure about the "free" part. You might need to start with the professionals that know where the free stuff is at. Here's the BRCI hotline for former or hope-to-be-former JW: 1-800-Why 1914, http://www.brci.org/helpline.html Someone else suggested someone in your area. Start anywhere and they might steer you to the free stuff. The only for sure free stuff I know about are suicide hotlines and churches. But there are other ways to find it, it's just that we might not know.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit