I knew this day would come (page 2)

Elsewhere

If the elder corners you and starts asking questions, ask him:

Am I required to answer that?

If he says Yes:

Show me where it says that in the bible. (It's not there - He is a "shepherd", not a judge)

If he says No:

Excuse yourself

stillin

The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. -Mark Twain, author and humorist (1835-1910)

Somehow, that seems relevant...

GIRLIE - I think the poster The Real Life stated something here that's extremely important and worth repeating, " You don't owe anything to them, so don't let them have any more control over your life. " The more you say- the more the elders will try to control you by making you feel guilty or even instill false fears into you by telling you the Devil will overreach you , you'll commit immorality, be a drunkard, or drug abuser if you stop going top meetings. It's all BS fear tactics to control you.

You sound like you are doing good just laying low and avoiding them. There's really no reason to meet with them. If they happen to press it- just say you're depressed and would rather not talk. If your family or parents are JW's - just stay on non-JW topics with them , be kind, loving as an any child would - and avoid controversial subjects. Hopefully you can just fade and the elder will let it rest and give up. Good luck, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

LouBelle

It's difficult to walk in 2 worlds. A very delicate balancing act. Strength to you as that is all I can offer as I went the disfellowhiped route.

WTWizard

Make it impossible to make an appointment. If they unilaterally set one up, don't show up for it.

JWoods

And please do keep us all informed.

Girlie

thereallife: Thanks for that. I do need to stand my ground at all costs, despite consequences.

greenie: Thanks for the heads up. Didn't get a chance to listen to like I want to, but do plan to do so soon.

Elsewhere: Good! Great response if ever cornered by any of them for a meeting.

Stillin: Great quote and very relevant.

Flipper: Thanks for the encouragement and will heed your words of wisdom.

Loubelle: Yes it is very difficult and thanks. Being here helps so much.

WTWizard: I have no intention of having a meeting with them and if approached by any of them to do so, I will tell them that I am busy.

JWoods: Will do.

Finally-Free

I ignored the calls so far. This is a bit hurtful for me to do because I like this particular elder.

Has this elder been a regular, important part of your life in the past year? If not then why worry about him? I think people often worry too much about offending people who don't really give a damn about them. Once they've "reactivated" you they'll quickly return to their former complacency, until the next time. (lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseum)

I no longer let my decisions or actions be affected by friends or relatives who are not an essential part of my life. I spent too many years worrying about the feelings of people who didn't care about mine. The wasted time and energy can never be reclaimed.

W

I knew this day would come