Here's my list, inspired by work today:
All patients please note:
1. When you call to make an appointment, please have a day and time in mind BEFORE you dial. I don't have time to be "on hold" while you check your schedule.
2. You are not his only patient He doesn't need to hear every detail of your life story to diagnose you.
3. I don't need to hear every detail either.
4. If the hospital tells you that your MRI or CT results will be back in 3 days....they are just saying that to get rid of you.
5. Yelling at me will not make your MRI or CT results come in quicker.
6. No, I don't have the phone number for Blue Cross.
7. Please don't call and give me a run-down of your symptoms and ask me if I think you should come in. If YOU think you should come in, then make an appointment. ( See rule #1 if you're unclear on how this is done. )
8. While it's true we are across the street from Wal-Mart, NO.....I don't know what time they close tonight.
9. I'm not a baby-sitter. If you leave your child in the waiting room while you go in for your appointment, I will give your child an espresso and a free puppy.
10. Your mother was right. Wear clean underwear. Please.