Justice #22 NEED FOR MERCY IN PLACE OF RIGID LEGALISM
Intro: The account is mostly about two JW men, Brother Jay and Elder Dean. It is not as intense as other JW judicial situations, but it illustrates the common, almost everyday happenings among JWs and their continuing struggle between Pharisaic legalism and the need for compassion. Though I have several more Justice posts prepared, this will be last of the JW Justice Series, at least for the foreseeable future, and unlike previous Justice posts, it will contain more subjective commentary.
Brother Jay Circa 1974 he had moved in from California as an MS. He was used to California JWs being more outgoing and holding large get-togethers. (That was the California JW culture at the time). He found the new congregation to be made of more homebodies, and less inclined to socialize. So, Brother Jay set out to try and reform this local problem as he saw it, and in so doing created angst among the core that made up the congregation establishment. He made some friends along the way who agreed with his views, and among these were Brother Dean and Brother and Sister Good. Brother Dean was at the time an MS himself, and about a year later was appointed to Elder.
Brother Jay made his move motivated by family becoming JWs. Given the expectation of Armageddon in 1975, being with family in the organization meant a lot. Brother Jay was experiencing financial difficulty from the cost of the move, the economic conditions nationally and locally. He had been self-employed, and his business declined when he moved. He finally found that the only job he could immediately land resulted in lower income. It was a living, but times were very tight.
Eventually, Brother Jay was forced into bankruptcy. This along with the struggle of a 3rd child being born, stress in the Congregation, long hours of travel to and from work, and mounting rift with the family he moved to be with, he became seriously depressed. His energy, career ambitions, and the never-ending cycle of living on the financial edge, was just too much.
Mrs. Jay: She spotted Brother Jay’s depression, and searched for JW material that would prove helpful, but nothing was available that was truly worth sharing, so she found an article in Woman’s Day magazine that discussed the latest in medical and therapeutic understanding and advances. This included discussion of how to spot serious depression, and get help before it became a serious clinical problem requiring hospitalization.
Brother Jay read this article, and realized that he was indeed suffering depression. He had some vacation time built up, and the company policy was use it or lose it. He opted to take the time since they had not had a vacation in years. The Jay family packed up the family into their little Toyota, and left the state for two weeks. He and his wife agreed that a change in scenery and time to think was vital to his recovery, and that this might lead to decisions that would improve their situation. During the trip, Brother and Sister Jay decided that he needed to find a new job for more income, and consider moving to a new area to get a fresh start. The vacation worked wonders for them both.
Unknown to Brother Jay: While away, a couple of Elders learned of the vacation, and took exception because they felt that Brother Jay should stick around and pay his debt from the bankruptcy. The bankruptcy was for over $12,000, and the debt was already discharged. But his two-week vacation pay was under $500. Yet the Elders reasoned that no one should take vacation when they should pay bills first. They did not understand that $500 was not going to make a dent, and that creditors already demanded payment in full, which Brother Jay could not meet.
Nevertheless, these Elders called a meeting to discuss removing and reproving Brother Jay for being financially reckless, and setting a bad example. This would also involve setting up a Judicial Committee. Bankruptcy, at the time, was frowned on by the Society, and became one of those aspects of life where Elders could, and often did make additional problems for JWs who suffered financial upsets.
However, given that Brother Dean was now an Elder, he was able to get a majority of Elders to be patient, and consider all the circumstances, and allow brother Jay time. The rigid Elders felt they had all the information they needed, and insisted on a decision before Brother Jay could return. In this case, due to Elder Dean’s efforts, the decision was to leave Brother Jay alone, and allow him to recover from his depression.
Upon his return, Brother Jay learned of what happened from Elder Dean and another Elder who agreed with Elder Dean.. While very appreciative, this would be among the first of many situations that would build up until Brother Jay one day left the organization.
Brother Dean: He has his own demons to wrestle with. He was retired from the US Navy, and had a good retirement income. He also worked in the upholstery trade, and he became a master at it. He could take a piece of furniture, or car or boat seats that most people would toss away in a heartbeat, and transform it, as if by magic, into the most beautiful, up-to-date and useful item you could imagine. He did this with a broken down hide-a-bed for Brother Jay.
Elder Dean developed some misgivings about the organization, and how it operates, but still accepted its premise regarding the Paradise Earth, and other related teachings. His wife suffered terribly from a serious illness that eventually took her life. Be he devoted his time and money to her care. And as a result he was belittled for being materialistic because he would buy expensive things, like a motor home, and take her traveling while she was still able. He greatly loved her, and wanted the best for her while they could be together.
Some JWs even felt that he should be removed as an Elder because he received Navy retirement income. They felt that this income would be the same as a Sister who would receive retirement income from a whorehouse, like the Mustang Farm in Nevada. Fortunately, somehow, this action to remove Elder Dean never materialized, and he was left alone regarding his retirement income. Elder Dean also liked to get away and go deer hunting once a year. Some JWs strongly criticized this, but again, he was left alone because he was able to show from Watchtower magazines that it was allowed.
This devoted man saw problems with the organization, and had many discussions about this with others. Yet, he chose to remain an Elder, feeling he could do good, and bring some sense of sanity to an otherwise legalistic and rigid congregation. He, like so many JW Elders in the same boat, saw this as a local or regional problem, and did not clearly see it as a total systemic problem of the organization from the top down.
Were it not for Elder Dean and Sister Jay, and friends like Brother and Sister Good, it could have been very upsetting for Brother Jay to be removed as an MS, and this rejection and loss of validation could have tipped the scales pushing Brother Jay deeper into clinical depression. Thanks to Elder Dean and Sister Jay’s compassion and insight that did not happen. Brother Jay recovered from the depression, and became financially well off for many years thereafter. In fact, Brother Jay was able to go back to all of his creditors, and pay them off in full, offering interest and compensation for inflation. This resulting in reestablishing a good credit rating.
The Watch Tower System: The above experience is not a headline making issue that condemns the JW system, but it illustrates the all-too-common events that many JWs face within the walls of Kingdom Halls – the ever present struggle between personal sanity and privacy verses submission to the whims of men who take an already bad set of religious policies and amplify their effects into something that is wholly unchristian, and at times, even uncivilized. Their mentality demands some legalistic version of perfection, with little compassion for gray areas, and the importance that mercy plays in any situation. Finances are among many issues that come under the scrutiny and intrusion by Elders into the private lives and personal decisions of JWs.
Private sex practices, social and charitable clubs, businesses, travel, investing, charity, careers, legal matters, family and personal relationships, and many more activities part of normal everyday life have become virtual cannon fodder for the Governing Body to regulate, and for Elders to administer. Truly, none of this can honestly be found as Christian, and certainly, none of us should become our brother’s keeper in this regard.
Being Christian, in spite of the Watch Tower religion: Many JWs, whether Elders, Pioneers, Brothers, Sisters, Publishers, have a sense of Christianity, and manage somehow to practice Christian living, not because of the organization, but in spite of it. This was the same mantra of Ray Franz in his book, Crisis of Conscience. These types of JWs are caught between two worlds, and each JW has to go with it until they reach a point in their life where they have done all they can do, and fantasy finally catches up to reality. That is, until they wake up and leave the religion. It is different for everyone involved. And certainly, as a kind lady on JWD recently stated in one of her posts, that we can never really judge the thoughts and motives of another human. Each has their own road to walk.
In addition to the mercy shown by Brother Dean and Sister Jay, there were also Brother and Sister Good, who saw the same situation. They did not wrangle about whether Brother Jay spent his funds wisely, or forsook vacation to pay a bill. No, they saw a need, and on their own bought many groceries for the Jay family, as a way of taking the edge off of the financial pain. Brother Good, who later became an Elder, hired Brother Jay to do some work, so he could earn some extra needed money. Brother Good paid well, and in this way, Brother Jay could maintain some self-esteem, so necessary in combating depression.
What if all the Elder Dean’s Walked Away from the Watch Tower?: This might be interesting were it to happen all at once, and with media attention. The resulting effects of living under the remaining hard-liners might prove to break the back of the Watch Tower religious corporation. But, in so doing, it might needlessly destroy many JWs on the edge. Who really knows? The reality is that the Elder Dean’s of the religion do not all have a common reform club they belong to where planning and contact can be made, so we may never really know what could come of a major walk-out. And reality is that each of these Elder Dean’s are in the making, and each have their own time and needs to deal with, so that it is not likely they would all reach the same conclusion and the same decisions at the same time. As the years go by, we will see more Elder Dean’s come into the religion, and eventually leave it. So maybe, as some kind of silver lining, the JW world is better off with some Elder Dean’s to keep at least some sanity, some sense of mercy, so that JWs passing through can breath a little. Maybe this is all we can expect for now. How can we judge this?
Why does this account bring personal pain and appreciation for compassion?: Brother Dean’s wife died, and he eventually moved and remarried. His whereabouts is not known, or whether he stayed an Elder or is even still living. But he was always true to mercy. Brother and Sister Good, highly active JWs, he being an Elder and she Aux. Pioneering much of the time, finally had their own lives slammed against the wall, and they left the JWs a few years later. They maintained some contact with the Jay family, and eventually made full contact again with Brother and Sister Jay when left the organization a few years after the Good’s. They are friends to this day. You see, the reason that this story is so close to me, and affected me so personally, is that I am Brother Jay. – Amazing