Stoopid question min..
Did You Have Any Weirdo JWs In Your Hall?
by minimus 40 Replies latest jw friends
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Mary
I think every congregation had its weirdos. We certainly did. There was one memorable family who lived in the country and who had a bunch of goats in the barn. The mother used to phone my mom and ask if me and my sister wanted to go out there for the weekend as company for her two daughters. We did NOT want to go, because the nutter of a mother used to make us clean up her house and it was a pig-sty. One morning (I think I was about 10 at the time), she made me milk her frigging goat!! The barn was as dirty as the house by the way. Anyway, Sister Goat brings the goat milk in the house, puts it through her seperator with her son repeatedly sticking his fingers in it and scooping out the cream. Then the milk went into the fridge and that was it. We ate dry cereal for the weekend.
One night at the Bookstudy, the father walks in late with 3 of his litter: two girls and one boy. The girls look like Boris Karloff in drag playing Frankenstein and the boy looked like the product of inbreeding. We were having the bookstudy at the Hall for some reason, and they sat two rows behind us. Anyway, I happened to look around and the one girl put one of her manmoth feet up and pushed the other girl off her seat. The father then stood up and tried pulling on the one girls' arm to move her over to the other seat but she let herself go all limp and she was so heavy, he couldn't budge her. I tried not to laugh but it was hard. Somehow, he managed to get her moved over and he sat inbetween them. They were all acting up for a good half an hour or so. Anyway, they got quiet and I turned around to see what they were doing and I nearly burst out laughing. The one girl was sitting on the end examining the contents of her nose which became her supper, the father was asleep in the middle, the other girl was sitting there with a huge trail of toilet paper stuck up her nose and trailing down the seat while the boy was vigorously scratching his dinger through his pants.
The conductor saw me trying not to laugh my ass off and instinctively he knew what I must be laughing at so he looked over at these rejects, looked back at me and he nearly burst out laughing himself.
This is the same family who serves half frozen pigeon for supper, who apparently have demons or ghosts in their home, and who fall asleep during the meetings and then suddenly jump up claiming their having a heart attack and then sit there as though nothing happened.
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MissingLink
Here's one (of many) "special" family:
I don't know if they were baptized, but they were definitely long time regular meeting attenders (20+ years).
Middle aged woman
30 something single daughter
Strange dude who lived with them (sleeping in Mom's room).
Dude and mom have been together for years, and then one day dude tells mom that he's in love with her daughter. He moves from mom's room to daughters room. They all live happily ever after as if nothing is strange about it.
Elders know they're all nuts and don't do anything about them. At least they show up at meetings. -
Magwitch
I have known so many special people. One that I can still laugh about is Dougy. The Thursday night meetings used to last until 10:00. After almost every Thursday meeting Dougy would call the same 3 elders into the back room for a meeting. On the way home my (typical elders wife) mother would ask what the meeting was about. Dad's response was always "Well, Nancy, apparently Dougy has been masterbating again". Us five siblings in the back seat never knew where to look or what to say.
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Mickey mouse
Wow cantleave, I didn't realise we were in the same congregation!
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AMomentWeBothKnew
Wow, these are some stories.
Anator, no, I don't really recall anything this crazy. Looking back, I think most people I knew were just normal J-Dubs. And a "normal" J-Dub is the equivalent as a weird "worldly" person. I was young, so maybe I just don't remember because I've tried to block everything out of my mind. I'm desparately trying to recall something.
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WuzLovesDubs
Oh yeah.... we were all crazy just by association with this Borg. JWs attract every nut job out there. People would do ANYTHING to get their bible studies and would study with ANYBODY out there no matter how deranged or needy.
We had one elderly Italian sister who had an experience for every question they asked in the WT study. And because she was Italian she would gesture with her hands including the one holding the microphone so besides having a very heavy accent nobody would hear 3/4 of what she was saying because the microphone was waving around. LOL!
We had a bipolar brother...also deaf...who would be chosen to do the closing prayer occasionally. And boy...when Nick got up there we knew we were in for the worlds longest concluding prayer. On and on and on and on...and we would think ok AMEN!! And he would go "And ALSO Jehovah we would like to pray for..... and then there's this.....and OOOOOH and Jehovah? We would like to thank you for......" If there was a hook to get him off the stage, he'd have gotten it.
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bohm
Perhaps this is more in the creepy department, but I talked with an unbabtized puplisher the other day. Turns out his single 50-something study conductor had told him that his mission was to mary a young <20 jw girl. The guy is an elder. yah, you can really feel the holy spirit at work....
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donny
We had one in our hall that fit the stereotype of a classic nerd. He had large horn-rimmed glasses, a nasal tone when he talked and would wear tennis shoes with his suit at the Kingdom Hall. One day I was out in service with him and we went by his place for a break. Inside he showed me his large collection of National Geographic magazines and told me that some of them came in handy as a "legal Playboy or Penthouse magazine" since they often had various pictures of women in cultures where clothes were minimal.
Donny
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WuzLovesDubs
ewww Donny....you were already late for the door with that one.