why does being in a bar mean you are on your way out? is that a US thing again
No simple answer for that one... It is a US thing, compared to European countries.
Most bars in the US are nothing like pubs in the UK or Ireland. Straight up bars, not restuarants with a bar, are adult only venues. For people that disapprove of these type places (and there are quite a few...we are the country that had prohibition, after all), they see bars as only an attraction for drinking and smoking (though the smoking is losing ground).
It's a pretty hypocritical view, seeing how some JWs are pretty heavy drinkers. I guess they like to keep it on the down low.
But it also depends on where you live. Big city JWs aren't as opposed to the bar scene as, say, JWs in a small, dry county where most every one was raised in a conservative manner.
The Society has always presented any kind of night life as "worldly" and "demonic" thus causing many JWs to look down their noses at any other JW who decides to enjoy a martini at the bar. It becomes another one of the judgemental tools that many JWs use to determine if another JW is zealous or not.
One of the first things I started doing when fading was going to my local watering hole and making acquaintances and friends with neighbors who also hung out there. Now I'm a regular and have actually made friends with the owners/managers and many other patrons. It's cool to have a regular bar to hang out in.