GRRRRRRR.......People!!!

sleepy

Do you ever feel like that?
I,ve just attended my own funeral, well it might as well have been .
I'm now nonexistant in my former friends eyes.
They have to stay away , I'm a danger to them.
So I can now count on one hand how many friends I have 2 , including my wife.
The other friend has also left the truth but I dont see him much as he lives in another town .

So since I work on my own I'm going to be pretty lonely for a while .
No more weekends down the pub or staying down anyones house.
I wonder whats on telly.
Er nothing..oh crap.

Well there always next door cat I wonder if hes good at conversation..here kitty , kitty.

KenUK

Hi sleepy,

I guess no right or wrong reply to this - each person will react differently - when your whole infrastructure of life has been built around the "truth" and you're suddenly out of the "club" then every negative emotion under the sun surfaces - it did for me..

Like yourself I was a jw from birth to age 33, moved around half a dozen congs and had friends in many towns - until April 1993 when I left and was then d/f. I live in a smallish town and my "friends" actually crossed the street (if the traffic let them!) or turned their head to one side avoiding eye contact and they still do today!.

Apart from this cheering you up (!) whats it done 8 years down the line - I have no friends at all - Why - I don't know - mebbe a hang up in trusting people after the jw experience. It may be deemed shallow but having been on the net since @1995 its like a frienship, but at a distance (safe and no emotions there...)

I'd be interested in seeing how others coped - is being in from birth and getting out many years later different from someone becoming a jw in "later" years the leaving.

teenyuck

Hi Sleepy!

Please don't let those JW's get you down. They are not true friends. Or family.

I do not have many friends either. I have been out for almost 20 years and I do believe, as KENUK noted, that is has to do with trust. It is hard to turst. However, it is hard for "worldlies" to understand the JW experience. Try explaining that you never trimmed a christmas tree, or sent a birthday card to someone. I recently did (christmas tree) and a good friend was appalled. I thought she understood that I had never done it. My JW family stays away. I can live with that. All they talk about is the "new system."

Please realize that friends will be made in time. It is hard. I will not give advice, since I do not have too many friends. However, If I, a shy, timid person can make them, you can too. Every month out it gets better and better.

Reborn2002

I can relate to each of you. I think one of the main reasons we flock to this board is for solace.. and when we relay our own personal stories we discover that despite differences in locale, culture, or language.. we have the same struggle.

JW love is conditional. It directly correlates to the number of hours in field service, meeting attendance, and willingness to submit to all ideas without questioning their biblical relevance or accuracy.

I was raised in the organization, and attended the same congregation for 18 years.

As long as I was a minor and did as I was told without questioning it, all was well. As soon as I got older and began to question accuracy, ideals.. and the elders right to determine the length of my sideburns (no joke).. its almost humorous how they quickly cooled off in having any affiliation with me.

You are taught to follow blindly the organization, and not question it even if it is obvious to any analytical mind that serious problems are apparent. My grandfather died in 1999... wanna guess how many Witnesses I GREW UP with over an 18 yr period wanted to spend time with me or even call to see how Im doing? (I live about 5 blocks from the Kingdom Hall by the way)

NONE.

The only attention I received was the Elders coming by UNANNOUNCED (very rude if you ask me) to subtly chastise me and read me Scriptures about how I need to get on the ball.

My philosophy now? FUCK EM.

Life is too short, you dont need the hassle in your life. Its hard to make friends among worldly people when you were conditioned to avoid them in your developmental stages of childhood and adolescence. Dont trust anybody, rely on yourself.. and in due time youll find yourself much happier and relieved to be free.

The true Kingdom of God is located in your heart, not an organization of hypocrites.

www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html for my new webpage and info!! Im trying to live now!!

Farkel

sleepy,

: So I can now count on one hand how many friends I have 2 , including my wife.

If you have a wife who's also a best friend, you are more blessed than many, maybe even most. If you have two friends now and you got back into the Cult, you would still have two friends and a bunch of hypocritical false friends who would turn on you in two seconds if you questioned Cult rules or Cult life.

So, you are still better off where you are now, yes?

Farkel

"I didn't mean what I meant."

rhett

I've been out for a couple years now and I've managed to make one friend here in town. I'm also very active with another group of people online and have gotten to know quite a few people that way as well. Its not that I really don't trust people, I just don't like many.

I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven.

Had Enough

sleepy:

I can certainly understand your anger in your situation. I am not df'd but I have not attended meetings or associated at JW social gatherings for the last couple of years except for the obligatory assembly to help with my aging JW mom who still is bull-headed enough to insist on attending even though she sleeps through most of it and can't hear the rest. lol

All I can say is that you've found a good place here to make friends. I'm sure in the few months you've been posting, you've read of the bonds that have been formed here and I can attest to the fact that emailing with others can help to make friends near to you and far away. And taking it a step further...finding ones from here that are close enough to travel to meet together for a bbq or a dinner out can really cement the friendships. (we got the idea from ozzie and others posting about their goodtimes)

I can vouch for all of this because several of us within a 4 hour or so driving distance have done so and having a common background serves to form a strong bond that keeps alive the desire to keep in touch and arrange to meet again. We even had someone fly from hundreds of miles away to meet and spend time with us and that has cemented the friendships even moreso.

Please don't give up on all people because of the hard-heartedness of the JWs and the WTS. There are some nice people out in the world and many especially-nice exJWs everywhere. Reach out.

Email me if you would like to. I've never been to the UK but have family roots there.

Had Enough

"Never doubt that a small group of citizens can change the world.
Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."...Margaret Mead

LDH

So I can now count on one hand how many friends I have 2 , including my wife

Be grateful--you've rid yourself of all the 'fairweather friends' that used to tie up your time!

Lisa
Might have just a few, but at least they're TRUE class

jenrick335

Dearest sleepy,

Believe me i understand, but cheer up. It only gets better. You wil realize that those who do not speak to you are not your real friends. The friends you will meet are better and are true. a real friend sticks through thick and thin and not based on religion. You should be you and not what they want of you. If you ever need to chat i am here.
Jen

sleepy

Thanks all for your words of encouragement.
I might open up my E-mail address soon a try to make some new friends , instead of you all just being some letters on my screen.( I'm having a problem sending and recieving E-mail I lost a pass word I think)
Anyway I'm off to France for the week tomorrow to stay with my mother in-law.
See you all next week.

GRRRRRRR.......People!!!

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