Ex Wife(JW) Wants to pull my 8 year old out of school and homeschool

by LowTech 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Worst of all, the witlesses lie, cheat, and steal to wrangle children out of school (along with other custody issues). The goal is that the children can count toward the witlesses' 7+ million (inflating the total even more), while making sure they cannot function outside the cancer once they grow up. The reasons for home schooling in these cases usually involve schooling around field circus, being able to use the Washtowel and Asleep! rags in lieu of real text books, and so they will not have class trips and extracurricular activity that interferes with boasting sessions or field circus.

    While there are advantages of home schooling if the parents are committed and capable, I don't think this is one of them. Home schooling requires a parent that has plenty of time, is fully integrated in thinking and able to pass it to children, and lots of money for equipment that schools share. To properly home school a child, you have to spend all that money to have access to labs, proper field trips, and all the equipment that schools might have (movie projectors are a prime example). They need all the proper videos--which can cost plenty of money. They need to know what is expected in all subjects at all grade levels, and be able to teach it. And, I am afraid that this is rare even among worldly people.

    And you need a proper motive. Just to protect children from the world is not enough. They cannot be taught with the Asleep! rags, or taught the lies that the Washtowel teaches them. They cannot be limited to other witlesses in social contact, or they will never be able to function outside the cancer. If parents are doing this to prevent them from being able to function outside the cancer, they should not be permitted to do that. And, with most Jehovah's Witlesses trying to home school children, this is the motive.

  • blondie
    blondie

    If the schools are so bad, they why don't all jws with children in that school system pull them out? My experience is that most jw parents fail in the homeschooling process being unwilling to "buy out" the time to teach and supervise and even dumping their kids off at the "meetings for field service" for other jw adults to babysit.

  • carla
    carla

    If she is leaving an 8yr old unattended she could be charged with neglegt. You have the right and legal right to say no to home schooling. Just leaving her alone like she does you could have a shot at full custody. Do what you must to protect your childs well being and that includes her mental and sprititual well being.

  • moshe
    moshe

    I have seen JW sisters out in service and they left their kids in the backseat doing their homeschool work, one with locked car doors and the engine A/C running.! Probably pioneer sisters. in one case I did a U-turn and confronted those sisters and gave them a piece of my mind. I told them that what they were doing borderd on child abuse/endangerment and if I saw them doing that again I would report them to child welfare officials. They seemed rather surprised to be called on the carpet. We have a JW family down the street who homeschools 2 kids- you never see those kids even playing outside, let alone on the sidewalk. It's sad really, how they are isolated

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    There are many concerns here.

    First and foremost, is that your wife is leaving an eight year old unnattended. What if a fire started in the house while she was gone? This has happened before, as many news articles will show. How did you find out your daughter was alone? Did she tell you? Then obviously it was a frightening experience. What about the little girl Madeline that was taken from her hotel room when her parents left her alone for "only a few minutes?" This is BAD parenting....you should document this each time it happens and let the court know.

    As to the home schooling...how can she work and still get this done? I work in a school....let me tell you that the teachers are now expected more and more to have Master's degrees in education. They introduce multiplication and division in third grade to eight year olds....but they have ingenious ways of demonstrating it....does your wife know all the ways to teach this? No, I don't think so. In science, they have films about simple machines, and kids become able to identify many used today. They have demonstrations and school districts provide models. They learn about chemical vs. physical changes and do classroom experiments. They learn about the earth's plates, different types of minerals and their properties, etc. The schools can provide rock samples. Do I need to go on to the fifth grade stuff?

    I am sorry that your daughter is in the middle of all of this at such a young age. Try to sit down with her mother and reach comprimise, even if at this point there are no birthday parties. This is just too stressful for your child.

  • musky
    musky

    There are also on line public charter schools that use state funding and have state certified teachers who are available to answer questions from students.It varies from state to state.It also allows you to log in as a parent on your child's account to see what their progress is, providing an opportunity for some good discussion when you see her.Home schooling works well for some but not others.There are a lot of people who say home school is bad because they don't get the association of other kids.I think the same argument could also be used to justify home schooling.

  • DJK
    DJK

    Spend a hundred dollars and ask a good family lawyer. Don't take chances on this.

    The only way to say it better is this, some lawyers don't charge for an initial counseltation. There may be requirements your ex can't meet to legally take her out of school.

  • tenyearsafter
    tenyearsafter

    My personal experience with home-schooling was a mixed bag, but after looking at the big picture I would advise against it. Both my kids got home-schooled from ages 12-14. The thought was that they would have a better environment to learn in and get away from the horrible bullying and bad associations they were getting in middle school from the kids. The bottom line is that they both ended up returning to public school and had a tough time readjusting. The 2 year lag in school attendance was questioned by the school system and though the homeschool program we used was "accredited", the school system would not accept some of the classes and subjects the kids were taught. This created major problems for them and required they take almost a year's worth of classes through continuation and summer school to be able to get "caught up" on the prerequisite coursework to be able to graduate. The kids ended up being quite resentful about the lost time and additional workload. It also affected their socialization skills and made returning to public school a tough one for them. Both kids had behavioral issues for the year following their return to public school. Thank goodness we were able to work through it and the kids graduated (finally!), went on to university and both ended up getting degrees, much to my JW ex-wife's displeasure!

    The interesting side note to all of this is that the exact opposite of the desired effect of home-schooling my wife had hoped for actually ended up happening. Rather than bring the kids into a closer relationship with JW's, both kids rejected the "Truth" shortly after graduating high school. My Ex still thinks it was a result of my bad influence on them, but I believe the kids ultimately blamed the isolation of JW influenced homeschool for "ruining" their later youth.

    My warning is "buyer beware" when considering homeschool...or if you want your kids to reject the WTS sooner, homeschool them!

  • LowTech
    LowTech

    I very much appreciate all the comments and advice so far. Knowing my Ex, just saying "no" is not going to cut it. I've gathering a list of questions and points for her to answer even before I will give my opinion on this. This is what I have come up with so far:

    1. What are your motivations for home-schooling her?

    a. While they may have certain days dedicated to the “holidays” in the lower grades at school, She will soon be moving into Middle School and the number of these days will decrease as she gets higher in her education.

    2. Do you think isolating a child from problems is really the best way for them to learn how to handle them?

    a. Did you keep her away from everyone when she was a baby in order for her to not get sick, or did we take her out so she was exposed and developed a better immune system?

    b. Do you think keeping her isolated from things will in the long run will help her, or could it possibly backfire?

    3. What are her thoughts and feelings on the issue?

    a. She currently loves school. She is always talking about her teachers and her fellow students.

    b. Pulling her out of school could stunt her love of learning, have you thought about that and discussed what this would mean for her. And I’m talking about listening to her and her feelings and not just coercing your views into her.

    4. What program are you going to be using for home-schooling?

    5. Are you capable of dedicating the time that home-schooling requires?

    a. Do you think you are capable of properly teaching her, working enough to be able to provide for her, and do all this without becoming so stressed that it affects her home life?

    6. Do you know what is expected in all subjects at all grade levels, and do you think you can properly teach her these?

    7. What are your plans and schedule?

    a. Children need structure.

    8. How will you be able to teach her when she gets into areas that you have hard time understanding?

    9. Do you know what the state law requires for home-schooling?

    10. How are you going to teach her in the required areas? :

    a. Language Arts

    b. Social Studies

    c. Math

    i. Are you seriously going to be able to help her with questions in Algebra, Geometry, and Trigonometry?

    d. Fine Arts

    i. Schools take field trips to Museums, Art Galleries, etc. Are you going to be doing that?

    e. Physical Science

    i. How are you going to be able to teach science properly without hands on equipment that it takes to properly explain many of the areas of science?

    ii. Are you going to be able to provide her with demonstrations, models, and experiments?

    f. Physical Education

    i. Are you planning on enrolling her in gymnastics, swimming or dance?

    g. Health

    11. Do you realize that she may be required to take and pass the standardized tests and score appropriately for her age group or she may have to repeat grades, if she wants/needs to go back to public school ?

    12. Have you considered how hard a re-adjustment it would be for her to go back in to the public school system once she has been out for a period of time?

    Do you have any other thoughts or things to add to this.

    Thanks!

    Christopher

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    LowTech wrote: She thinks that the schools are getting so bad

    Then maybe a good compromise - or just plain good plan! - would be for her to be a class mom and volunteer 1 or 2 days a week. Also, get the daughter involved in sports and be a team mom.

    That way she gets to be part of the solution to make it better without making your daughter suffer socially and academically.

    -Aude.

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