by Joshnaz 28 Replies latest jw friends
Santa isn't a lie. He was a real person, evolving into a legend based on Nicholas, Bishop of Myra centuries ago. Parents now emulate St Nicholas and give him the credit ( as Santa Claus) for gifts until the child is old enough to also participate in the tradition for the younger kids in the family.
Check out: stnicholascenter.org
" I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year." Ebenezer Scrooge
I love this web site and all of you have such amazing and real answers. I think I will carry on the teaching of Santa to make Christmas more magical for my son. In the future when he questions it I will explain to him that there was a man, who now is named Santa Claus who did give gifts, rode in a sleigh and gave gifts to children. Though those people he see's in the mall are not the real Santa they are carrying the tradition that Santa once had and makes it special for all the children. Sounds good right?
Sounds very good. After raising a child ( my stepson) who was raised as a JW for the first 11 years of his life, I can attest to how important it is that children be allowed to be children - with all of the magic, fantasy, and make believe that goes along with it. It took him a long time to learn to enjoy the simple joys of childhood, including birthdays, Christmas, etc.
A lie = an untruth
Santa's bring gifts tonite at midnight going to be everywhere at once not a lie, however, I do agree with you children need to given the chance to be children and fantasy, magic and make believe are all part of that.
My son said he pretty much didn't believe from 9 years old on, but wasn't absolutely sure. His other response is priceless: "Hmmph. So I guess this means there's no tooth fairy, either?"
LOL, that's funny!
By the time I met my stepchildren, the boy was nine, and the girl was 13. Neither of them believed in Santa. My stepson informed me that he knew Santa wasn't real, because the one at the mall was black, and the one in all of the pictures was white, LOL.
But I remember how special it was to believe in Santa. When I was about six our teenage babysitter told me that there was no Santa. I was hysterical by the time my mom arrived home from work. Upon hearing of my sad discovery, dear old mom explained the big secret. She said that there was no Santa for that teen aged girl, because she was spoiled and that her parents had to buy her gifts. But, of couse, good children like my brother and me recieved presents from Santa. Not only did that "secret" make me love Christmas even more, it made me feel good about our family year round.
Sigh...my mom became a jw just six short years later.
Joshnaz
Don't you live in Phoenix? Do you have a chimney so Santa can get down?
If you go the Santa route like we did as kids. We always left cookies and milk for the big guy after we had read to us 'Twas the nite before Xmas'. And not to forget Rudolph, some lettuce.
One Xmas I crawled out of bed, went and hid in the livingroom to meet him in person. But all the presents were there already. Rats! He beat me to it.
Hello Joshnaz,
I personally didn't go the Santa Claus route with my son. Because I think my JW parents would use it against me, like "see your dad tells you things that aren't true, and we have the 'real truth'." So if your child still has dealings with JW relatives I would advise against it. Otherwise, it would be great fun for your child to believe in Santa Claus for a while. Wish I had gotten a chance to be a real child myself.
When I was a child my parents perpetuated the myth of Santa. I can recall my Dad asking me if I could hear the reindeer's hooves on the roof or my mom promising that I wouldn't get gifts if I wasn't good, etc. When I was in 5th grade, my teacher, Ms Hearst (I recall her name because of this) told the entire class there was/is no Santa Claus. I went home and told my mom what she said and my mom promptly got into the car and drove to my school and cussed the teacher out, telling her in essence that HER JOB was to teach me academics, not to get involved in holiday beliefs and traditions of her pupil's family.
My uncles often teased me about believing in Santa and I developed a complex about it. Were my parents telling me the truth or was everyone else in on something and my parents were too worried to tell me?
Eventually I learned the truth of the matter after my parents learned of the teasing. They sat me down and told me. After which I asked how could they condone lying to me, just to perpetuate this and didn't they understand how foolish they made me look to everyone else? (Yes I actually spoke that way as a child) Also since they had always told me that lying was wrong and if I did it I was punished, then what punishment were they going to impose upon themselves?
Obviously they didn't see it the same way although they admitted that they had lied and that lying in general is wrong. They tried to explain that lying can be justified if it serves a noble purpose and the personae of Santa Claus is justified.
Although I understood what they meant, my trust in my parents was shattered and for many years afterwards when something came up that I didn't quite grasp or that seemed out of sorts I would ask if this was a Santa Claus type of thing.
I think this incident helped shape who I became later in life, as I have always been interested in Truth and Justice and in my opinion truth should always be upheld, despite what ills may come our way from seeking and upholding it.
So to recap, I never fully trusted my parents again and for myself I decided that when I had children I would not perpetuate the myth, but would give the historical background of Santa Claus and relate how people still celebrate this person's generosity thru the holiday by stories and fables designed to instill generosity towards one another. However my children receiving gifts is not dependent upon their behavior but rather my love for them and Santa Claus for many is an expression of that love and also the spirit of giving gifts anonymously, so that the focus is on the one that receives, rather than the ones that gives.
Tis better to give than receive.
let a little kid be a little kid - let christmas, easter, losing teeth, halloween be magical for the little one. when he's older you can start explaining things away.
'Awen', my experience is so much like yours - but it's incredible that you lasted till the 5th grade! I learned the truth about Santa from a first-grade pal - I couldn't believe it either and told him he was a liar! Mom told me the truth very reluctantly, and like you, it really made me mad to have been lied to and be made a fool - though in first-grade I didn't have the words to express it as eloquently as your fifth-grade self - but it was my same reaction.
My dd told my grandchildren that Santa is like a cartoon character, like Superman, who we know is not a real person, but the fantasy is a fun aspect of Christmas. They understood that with a child's perspective and they sure never suffered for believing this way. People who threaten their kids with Santa as a means to reward and punishment probably use 'the boogey man' as a disciplining tool too, which really kinda stinks.
Which reminds me of a funny Christmas joke - There were 2 boys who lived with their grandfather - one was a good boy who worked hard on the farm and listened with respect to his Grandpa; the other was a disrespectful and lazy rebel. Grandpa had told them that only 'good boys and girls get presents from Santa' in their hung-up stockings on Christmas Eve... So when Christmas morning ariived both hopeful little boys rushed to the mantle to retrieve their stockinged gifts. The good grandson pulled a new gold watch from his stocking and enthusiastically showed his brother - "Look! Santa left me this wonderful gold watch! The not-so-good grandson optimistically dug deeply into his Christmas stocking and pulled out....
a horse turd. His eyes widened with delight; then his expression turned to sadness as he spoke: "Well, I got a pony... but he got away!"
It's tough being a 'good' parent these days - so many opinions and so many critics! We all just do the best we can do and hope lots of love covers the mistakes we make!
watkins
