Through a Darkened Pane

by compound complex 730 Replies latest social entertainment

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    I have awakened from the strangest and most frightening nightmares imaginable.

    Or had I been awake all along, my imagination once again off at an unstoppable gallop, an All Hallows Eve wild ride into the yet undiscovered caverns of a sickened mind morbidly inhabiting a body in advanced stages of decay? [earlier I had been tasting of a musical smorgasbord which offered to my indiscriminate palette an out-of-season dollop of screeching but captivating Halloween music]. Strange dreams of friends redrawn as angry, animated cartoon characters, my lugging a double bed mattress up to a trashed hotel room, a treasure trove of books ablaze at the hand of an insane antagonist in the manner of Fahrenheit 451 and the smell of kerosene (can a dreamer smell?).

    I have awakened again - how can this be?

    Pain wracks my freezing body, my legs at broken angles one to the other and higher than my cracked head. As I come to and to the realization that I am outside the comfort of my warm and embracing bed, I gather that I am fortunate to have awakened at all: I am at the bottom of the stairway leading from deck to drive, crumpled in an ungainly and disgraced heap. It would seem - as I am now in the capacity to recollect my earlier move to exit the studio to view better the new moon - I had slipped down the icy wooden stairs and spent heaven knows how long on the asphalt.

    If I have not broken anything I will struggle to crawl back up the stairs, lick my wounds once inside my home's relative safety and security, and refrain henceforth from attempting to view straight on the moon's beautiful face.

    Her exquisite shining light alone - pouring so alluringly through my gently illumined window - will have to suffice for this adventurer.

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Greetings, Beloved CoCo!

    I just felt the need to pop in and express my appreciation for your missives.

    I know that it must seem as if you are "playing to an empty house" here many times due to lack of response. The truth is, most of us just don't know what to say. There are times when words seem cheap... and one must sit in silent contemplation instead.

    Much love,
    Baba.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dearest Baba:

    And Sunday is the loneliest day! Thank you so much for "popping in."

    The latest missive was to have been my deciding how and when to identify the dark spot on the old linoleum - this is truly all part of my early childhood. At 4 or 5 a.m., however, I was not mentally focused on the requisite background material essential to illuminating the reader about the tragic events that actually unfolded in our very home long before our arrival.

    Instead, I decided to go out and gaze upon the moon and go for a walk. The stairway was so icy that I came back in and wrote about my pretend and slippery descent into the oblivion of a cracked skull!

    Thanks for your support and understanding and love!

    Much love,

    CoCo

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Post #7111, correction:

    The cabin, whose hidden, dry-rotted structure could barely holding hold a leaky roof over our heads, was, at the very least, keeping the worst of the fierce winter weather outside where it belonged.

    CC

  • musky
    musky

    Hello CoCo,

    Just catching up on the latest posts.I do appreciate your thoughts very much.And I am glad you don't mind me posting.I hope all is well with you.My family was away and not in our normal routine over the new years.

    I appreciate you sharing your painting of the view from Altamont Heights Road.

    Have a great evening!

    For Sylvia,

    "I think CoCo is one of the warmest, approachable persons on this here board."

    I agree 100%! And thank you for your kind words of encouragement.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Greetings, my friend, Musky!

    So happy that you are back today. I know everyone's been busy with their own special and usual routine - some the holidays, some the theocratic service. As long as everyone's happy with his lot in life.

    I'm glad you mentioned the painting - that means a lot to me. I've been focusing lately on my early life in the mountain communities of the Pacific Coast. For some reason it seems very necessary to me at this time ...

    Looking forward to when we "talk" again!

    CoCo

  • snowbird
    snowbird
    Since you are most likely the only one who will see and/or respond to this, I wanted to explain what seems to be increasingly the obscure meaning in what I write. What I do is largely about sublimation - keeping what is base in check by channeling it through acceptable creative endeavor. It's extremely frustrating to be hemmed in by WTB&T Societal mores and ridiculously confining rules and regulations. I continue, albeit unwillingly, in thrall to my family's faith, this for reasons understandable to faders.

    I "know" this about you, dear CoCo.

    I know.

    It's not just the WTS mores; I was raised in a strict Baptist faith where carnality was eschewed. The hymn at the link below was wielded forcefully and effectively to keep us in check. Even though I haven't set foot in a church in 38 years, I still know the words by heart.

    http://www.hymntime.com/tch/htm/y/i/yieldnot.htm

    I know that it must seem as if you are "playing to an empty house" here many times due to lack of response. The truth is, most of us just don't know what to say. There are times when words seem cheap... and one must sit in silent contemplation instead.

    Baba, dear heart, that is exactly what I was trying to convey in my reply to Musky.

    I just love y'all!

    Sylvia

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Upon looking out my window this winter day ...

    THIS DAY JEJUNE

    It is not so rare, this day jejune.
    I cannot hope for one happy day,
    When heaven and earth are set atune.
    Yet I must continue e'er to pay

    For transgression, regret unassuaged.
    My forces drain, they lose all their might.
    This gut has a 30 Years' War raged,
    Bleak settles in, my spirit takes flight.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Welcome back, dear Sylvia ...

    Another long weekend, eh? So happy to have you back ... we missed you!

    Thanks for this in particular [the entire hymn, of course - it's beautiful!]:

    Fight manfully onward, dark passions subdue, ...

    Why did I never feel so warm and stirred by Kingdom Melodies? Perhaps Jesus is the answer.

    Love,

    CoCo

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    For so many years I have walked the same road. Have seen the same trees and shrubs and flower beds. Have observed new growth and increased height for the woody specimens and abundant verbiage and floral displays at the level of cats and dogs, who always seem so studiously inclined to sniff thereabouts. The sparkling necklace about this expansive, delightful display of burgeoning flora and fauna is Lake Golden. Whether gussied up in her finest, deepest azure, sunbeams dancing about her surface and drawing upwards from watery depths the most profound blues and greens, or tempest-tossed beneath black skies pressing out diagonal sheets of a slate-gray downpour, I am ever enthralled by her commanding presence. I saw her today, however, as never before ... yet never shall again....

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