Talked to my Ex. from 35 years ago.

by Decided 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  Decided

  I found my first wife's telephone number on the internet and called her. We talked for a while and she told me why she divorced me. She couldn't stand the controlling JW life that we had. She wanted some freedom in her life. She thought I wouldn't leave the JWs. I told her I faded too when she left me. She had a good life after leaving me and married a man that retired from the Navy. He died 5 years ago. She has a good retirement income and is doing fine. She gets more pension income than my wife and I combined.

  My wife didn't like me calling her and is mad at me right now. I was just curious about what happened to her after we were divorced, not interested in her romanticly at all.

  Ken P.
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Is she mad at you for calling or is she mad at you for not talking with her about it before you did so with the intention of finding out her feelings on the matter?
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  minimus

  She'll get over it when she sees you weren't still thinking about your ex in "that" way.
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  mouthy

  Go buy her some flowers with a kiss.
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Go buy her some flowers with a kiss.

  yah, I'm in agreement. Flowers, chocolate, nice fine wine....whatever floats her boat. Do that thing that reassures her :)
• 

  undercover

  Wait a minute...

  Be a man. Tell your old lady that you'll talk to whoever the hell you wanna talk to. She don't rule you. And tell her to go fix you a turkey pot pie...

  I'm kidding, of course. Take the advice of the ladies. An explanation with flowers and an apology will help. My first thought was you probably should have talked to her before making the call. Get her perspective. If she was dead set against it, then you might just have to leave the door closed. Too late now, so now you have to reassure your wife that there was nothing to it and maybe admitting that it might have been a bad ideas to begin with.
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  mouthy

  it and maybe admitting that it might have been a bad ideas to begin with

  Now that is a REAL MAN's response
• 

  AGuest

  I had to think about this one (may you all have peace!)

  While I can see why dear Ken might want/need to buy some flowers and apologize now (because his wife is upset), I'm not sure I would think him required to talk with her FIRST (i.e., ask her permission). Yes it would have been kind, loving, and courteous, yes. But I'm not sure it should have been required. That he TOLD his wife he made the call should have indicated to her that there was nothing to be concerned about, IMHO. You know, the whole "people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing" thing.

  I had to ask myself: how would I feel if my husband called his ex... whether recent or from the ice age. Where would I "go" in my head/heart about that? Truth is: nowhere. He's a good, and trustworthy man, so I can't see why I would be concerned. And, okay, even if I got concerned, i can't see where I would get mad.

  I think I feel as I do because, although I would tell my husband of my intent to call an old friend... or former spouse... I don't know if I like the thought that I HAD to.

  I know, now that I've thought it out... I'm probably the minority here. And I understand that. I guess I just don't get all the underlying insinuation that there's "something going on" and someone "can't be trusted."

  Again, hmmmmmm....

  Peace!

  A slave of Christ,

  SA, who thinks perhaps she'd better have a talk with my husband and ask him how he feels about something like this...
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  minimus

  You were ok, Ken. Don't listen to them.
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  HintOfLime

  Now that is a REAL MAN's response.

  Blech. Considering all the talk I've read on forums where this same situation happened, but the genders were reversed ("She is her own free person and is allowed to communicate with other peope.", "She did nothing wrong.", "He needs to get it out of his little head that he owns her.", "Dump him now, he sounds pathetically insecure.", bla bla bla) - I think I'm going to puke.

  - Lime