The Elder Bag. Going the way of the Dodo?

by Open mind 63 Replies latest jw friends

  • dissed
    dissed

    wassa....

    "Queen family trukster?"

    Did it have 'genuine formica leather-like woodgrain siding'?

    The bag I wished to have would be like the golf bag Rodney Dangerfield had in 'Caddy Shack' - Spring loaded book tosser, AM-FM Radio with cassette, Beer Keg dispenser, car horn.

    Now we talking my kind of book bag!!!

  • dissed
    dissed

    Famous book bag quotes......

    "Its not the size of the book bag that counts, but how you use it!"

    "What happens in a book bag, stays in it!"

    "Its not what your book bag can do for you, but what you, can do for your book bag!"

    "Walk softly, but carry a big book bag!"

    What's the difference between an Elder and an MS? The size of the book bag.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Welcome MiseryLovesElders!

    I never had one of the really big cases. All the COs that came to the school at Patterson had the jumbo wheeled ones. Many of the Gilead students did too.

    I always wanted to one-up them all with a custom made riding bookcase. No, not like a scooter motorized electric wheelchair...

    ...a gasoline powered John Deere riding bookcase!

    Now picture it with sides and back covered with locking shelving!

    And the mowing deck would actually be a vacuum sweeper.

    For you that have actually been to Patterson, picture this sweet ride racing down one of the tunnels toward the elevator!

    Sister Glass would be so much roadkill!

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Nice Billy, an elders bag with a zero turning radius, perfect for the next "new light" that comes out...

    Edited to add:

    For you that have actually been to Patterson, picture this sweet ride racing down one of the tunnels toward the elevator!
    Sister Glass would be so much roadkill!

    LOL! Nah, she'd just bitch and they'd give her a John Deere.... She actually brushed me twice on the way to morning worship.... See how the borg takes care of their elderly?

  • zarco
    zarco

    This might be the best thread of all time.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    A self propelled r2d2 scripture/wt/book quoting robot. Need a dozen sciptures quoted rapid succession in your scriptural ping pong w a born againer? r2d2's got your back. It can also immitatefreddie's voice or the dark lord's himself, emperor jaracz.

    S

  • dissed
    dissed

    Billy......

    I was laughing so hard I couldn't read your comment to my wife. I had her read it.

    She didn't see the humor and said it must be a 'brother thing' lol

  • palmtree67
    palmtree67

    WELCOME!!!!! ELDERSLOVEMISERY!!!!

    Enjoyed your intro very much!! Please keep posting!!

  • dissed
    dissed

    I think every congregation had at least one 'briefcase Joe' wannabe. The guy who dreamed someday of carrying his very own 'Elders bag'.

    Wishing for the perfect life, for the perfect JW.

    Sitting upfront in the KH. By his wife and two kids, and his faithful Elders bag, sitting by his side, for all to see, on the aisle.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOL1bOldSQc

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Billy you are too much!

    And, if any of you haven't watched the YouTube posted by dissed, it's definitely worth a watch, IMO.

    We've got an elder in our congo who's "very stylish". He's got himself an elder bag, but it looks like he put it in some sort of gamma-ray reduceatron machine and it's only about 60% the size of a regular elder bag. Same proportions, just a lot smaller. Really weird. If I can snap a photo, photobucket it and post it, I will.

    om

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