How are you faders doing? (page 2)

feeling good

Fading FABULOUSLY

I do get phone calls once in a while. My exiting process started a year ago. I slowed down to 2 meetings then 1 meeting. Stopped going out on Field service...After 5 months I was no longer attending. It was difficult in the beginning because my husband was in and giving me a hard time, but he has stopped attending and our relationship has become very strong. Also, I am a very social person so not having the association was hard, a few people would call me and ask if I was ok but never to associate with me. The Elders have come by and I have avoided them, 1 Elder spoke with my husband on Sunday and my husband told him we do not want to be bothered. He asked why, and my husband said for personal issues which he chooses not to discuss. I would like to Fade but I am not going to hide who I am, we have started celebrating holidays and we celebrated my husbands birthday and it was just so nice.

I do agree we have to become Self Centered we have to Enjoy life to the Fullest. Life is too short. If we don't take care of ourselves who will?? We can't let Man determine our Happiness... we are not robots.

Wishing you well.

M

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

This fader is fading nicely. I was afraid it would take forever, but I looked for opportunities to exploit.

I'll take the time to start a thread with the details one of these days, but I was "stumbled", or more accurately "stabbed in the back". It was a bizarre situation of a false accusation by a couple of "brothers" that I let spread. By the time the facts came out, all the elders and many in the congregation were red-faced for slandering an ex-Bethelite. I no longer speak to about a dozen of the "friends". No more FS. I attend the meetings but don't socialize. It will be interesting when the CO visits.

bythesea

Thanks for asking how we're doing! I know when I was first heading out of the WTS I also devoured everyone elses experiences to see how and what they were doing and how it was working...looking for a kind of map or guide for how to proceed. I don't post much on here but do read regularly and appreciate the many helpful topics and words of encouragement from so many who desire to help us faders.

I am now entering my 3rd yr of not being in field service, and am down to about 1-2 meetings a month. With an active and zealous JW spouse it isn't always easy but we seem to have come to an understanding and in all other areas of our life together we are doing ok. Our 2 adult children apparently have a "don't ask don't tell" where my inactivity is concerned. I guess the fact that I go to a meeting if they're here visiting keeps them ok with still associating with me, altho I'm sure they talk with their other parent about me!

I pretty much have been living my life as I wish for the last 2 yrs....the little compromises I make I can live with and what marriages don't include compromises? My mate wishes we were more social, like the old days, and I've told him I don't care if he wants to invite "friends" over, if they're comfortable being here that's fine, but he doesn't make the invitations. I've managed to dodge all elder visits, sheparding calls, CO visits, etc. so for now I feel like things are going well! I have no intention of DAing, that's THEIR rules and I don't play by those anymore. I am discreet in some things so as not to shake things up, but am living honestly and have a clear conscience....life is pretty good!

White Dove

By the Sea,

Your story is an inspiration to those of us who have already quit or faded and are fading. You brought up some really good points in how to fade. Compromise and being discreet. It sounds like you put your foot down in just the right places. It also helps that your mate is finally accepting it with grace.

I left suddenly after fighting tooth and nail to stay in. I actually fought to stay. Their indifference pushed me out.

Lieu

I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking!

Life is so much simpler now, the load is light and enjoyable.

The Scotsman

My fade is doing nicely - thanks for asking. It has now been 1 year, and 10 months since my last meeting. Elders have not visited for ages now - they finally got the message. Though I do expect the pre-memorial visit early next year. There is life after Watchtower - ah freedom!!!!!!!

designs

Life gets filled with good and worthwhile activites. University life, working with Foundations that do good and make real positive differences in people's lives and the environment. New friends are the interesting component, there is not that 40-50 years of history together, but still its a beginning.

finallysomepride

I have been fading many years now, so much so now I'm apostate - Cool Aye

pat1060

Thanks so much for all of your comments.I especially liked the comment on compromising and being discreet.It can sure be a lonely time until you find something else to do.Billy the x Bethelite,please tell us your story....It is a long time for some of us,but my mind is Finley free....thanks again.

OnTheWayOut

I have cut my field service down,and miss more meetings then I ever did.I'm hoping the sister that is in my face all the time,trying to help me,will forget about me soon.

The important thing about a fade is the actual fading. So I read that you have made some progress, continue to do so. I did a lightning fade in comparison to some on here, and I wish I did it sooner/faster. I went from elder fully attending and participating to totally absent from all JW activity in a manner of less than 8 months.

During the first few months of the fade, the elders made some attempts to "help" me, but not much. Since leaving, they made a single attempt after about 18 months of absence to "shepherd" me, and accepted my text message of "No thanks" and gave up. If you want to have them forget about you, you have to get out of her.

How are you faders doing?

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