A few main topics and things written in Pauls letters.....
1. Many were mainly written for the elect/annointed, look at the introduction of the letters to understand which are which.
2. He said you don't need anybody to be teaching you, he said how nobody taught him, and he didn't go looking for teachers.
3. He said he was concerned how easily he was accepted, he thought that after his departure, others could go in and if they accepted them as easily, without checking and verifying the teachings, they could be misled.
4. Peter was sent to preach to people of the world, when he was in the midst of promient Jews, he would avoid them, Paul corrected him on that.
5. Paul's letters emphasized faith, as Peters emphasized works. Paul said if you get circumsized thinking you must to get salvation, you don't have faith in the sacrifice. He gave more freedom then Peter. Paul was trying ot make a point, yet many took it to extreme liberties, which is why Peters letters say that in Pauls writings are things difficult to understand which many are twisting to their destruction.
6. Paul said not to be judging and judgemental, the only ones not to associate with are those who 'claim' to be a brother but practicer of fornication, etc.
7. Paul was VERY poor, would try to not take from anyone, and worked. RUTHERFORD, made himself a king, had a MANSION built for him in CA, claiming it's for the princes who would be resurrected on earth. They are NOTHING alike!
I don't know how you read Paul's letters, they are hard to understand if your not meant to I suppose or getting spirit, but he is quite the opposite of what you were claiming.
Mentioning what he said about Peter, if elders, etc were treating abusively people in the congregation, he would be the one to correct it. Not the one leading and giving off that mentality that they are better then everyone else. While Jesus was still on earth, we all know how Peter and the other disciples had a problem with being great, etc, so they are imperfect men and needed correction many times.
As for the women thing, I know Paul did not invent the headship, so could be out of respect for God and could be what God really wants the congregation to be run. Jesus did not start congregations, his short time was covering as much of an area as possible and accomplishing his purpose while on earth. He did not start any congregation with sets of rules that we know of or had been recorded that we know of.